Myrna, left: “I haven’t the faintest idea what she’s talking about.” William, not so much left: “Nor do I. Perhaps she’s discussing stock options, with that bit about alternative arrangements.” Bartender, background: “I could clear up the confusion in two seconds, but you people haven’t won any awards […]
Myrna: “Although part of me, especially my hand, is desperately yearning for what you have to offer, another part of me is convinced that I should alert the proper authorities.” William: “What, you don’t want a bite of this sandwich? It’s quite exquisite. It has mayo smeared on […]
Harmon, the first husband: “I know our relationship is rocky, and that you will one day leave me because I’m an insufferable sexist, but can I at least say you look stunningly beautiful in this moment.” Bette: “Why, Harmon Oscar, such a notion from you. I must say […]
Greta, left: “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ll try to do better.” Henry, right: “Splendid. So let’s review what we’ve just learned.” Greta: “I will stop stealing vodka from your private stock and then trying to seek validation by sharing said stock with my impressionable friends.” Henry: “Good. And?” Greta: […]
Cary: “Why are you walking in the door like that? Jean: “Let’s just say there was an incident and things didn’t work out well for me.” Cary: “But you look like you’re in pain? What happened?” Jean: “Well, apparently I made the mistake of trying to wear high […]
Jimmy: “There’s something happening here.” Claudette: “There is? Is it my hairdo? I knew something didn’t feel right about this choice.” Jimmy: “What it is ain’t exactly clear.” Claudette: “Oh. Well, if it’s not me, you must be talking about the rather rude way you’re sitting, showing your […]
Humphrey: “Say, what happened to your face there, doll? Has your man been wallopin’ you around? I can take care of him if you want me to. Just say the word.” Ida: “Well, as much as I would like to belittle my husband for the wretched things he […]
Mary, left: “I’m so excited about getting to be in a Mack Sennett picture!” Marie, right: “Oh, is that what we’re doing? I thought I was waiting in line to get past the velvet rope at a Steampunk-Goth nightclub.” Mary: “That means nothing to me. But I will […]
Errol, far left: “I have no idea what’s going on right now. This might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking since last Tuesday. It’s entirely possible that I owe somebody somewhere a lot of money for a stunning bar tab, but that’s the […]
Police Officer: “M’am, I’m sorry to bother you since you seem to be so comfortable in that position, but I do have a few questions about what happened tonight.” Comfortable Lady: “I don’t mind. I’ve never been one to shy away from confrontation. Ask away.” Officer: “Well, we […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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