The esteemed mountain climber, Javier von Bigthrust, was working his way toward the summit of Mount Sapphia when he rounded a tree and encountered this scene. His first instinct, as he gazed upon such a mystifying display of estrogen-based revelry, was that he should run back down the […]
Jimmy: “What the hell are you doing?” Norma: “Sweetie, I know you were born in Pennsylvania, and I can forgive you for that. But you are really drawing too much attention to our table with your ‘golly gee’ expression. Tone it down a notch.” Jimmy: “But it looks […]
Ginger: “Wow, we are really flying across this dance floor!” Fred: “I told you, it’s always good to eat a lot of broccoli before an important number and let the power of digestive gasses give you that extra zip.”
Anne: “Don’t you just love my new tattoo supporting our men in the military? Isn’t it just dreamy?” Helen: “I’ve got one, too! Nothing says eternal love like ink on skin.” Evelyn: “Wait, I think I missed a memo. Who said anything about tattoos? I thought we were […]
“Hi, my name is Any Woman, and I was a prostitute in the infamous Storyville section of New Orleans, and my voice from the past is here to warn you that one hundred years later there will still be Republican men who will do everything they can to […]
Becky: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom: “But Huck said that all the answers we ever wanted are at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks up […]
Paulette: “Hey there, Big Boy. Care for a ride?” Ray: “Where did you find such a tiny thing? I’m not sure I could even fit in there.” Paulette: “Oh, I’m sure we could find something you could fit in. Care to take me for a spin.” Ray: “But […]
Evelyn: “What on earth on you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding my diaphragm case?” Inspector: “Is that what this is? I thought maybe you were collecting those little Jewish hats. But since we’re on the subject, why is this case encrusted with rhinestones?” Evelyn: […]
Starlet-in-Training #1: “I know that we’re supposed to be doing modeling exercises, but I had far too many Harvey Wallbangers last night, as well as a few Harveys, and I really need to just lean against this wall and pray for daylight.” Starlet #2: “I’m still stunned that […]
At the Pickfair Mansion, the guests did their best to frolic and enjoy themselves at the poolside party, despite then-current morality which required they sport woolen bathing attire which could sink a battleship. On the plus side, the pain of their discomfort was eased by the free-flowing availability […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
Crusty Pie 
Recent Comments