Month: January 2016

Past Imperfect – #352

The esteemed mountain climber, Javier von Bigthrust, was working his way toward the summit of Mount Sapphia when he rounded a tree and encountered this scene. His first instinct, as he gazed upon such a mystifying display of estrogen-based revelry, was that he should run back down the […]

Past Imperfect – #351

Jimmy: “What the hell are you doing?” Norma: “Sweetie, I know you were born in Pennsylvania, and I can forgive you for that. But you are really drawing too much attention to our table with your ‘golly gee’ expression. Tone it down a notch.” Jimmy: “But it looks […]

Past Imperfect – #349

Anne: “Don’t you just love my new tattoo supporting our men in the military? Isn’t it just dreamy?” Helen: “I’ve got one, too! Nothing says eternal love like ink on skin.” Evelyn: “Wait, I think I missed a memo. Who said anything about tattoos? I thought we were […]

Past Imperfect – #347

Becky: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom: “But Huck said that all the answers we ever wanted are at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks up […]

Past Imperfect – #345

Evelyn: “What on earth on you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding my diaphragm case?” Inspector: “Is that what this is? I thought maybe you were collecting those little Jewish hats. But since we’re on the subject, why is this case encrusted with rhinestones?” Evelyn: […]

Past Imperfect – #344

Starlet-in-Training  #1: “I know that we’re supposed to be doing modeling exercises, but I had far too many Harvey Wallbangers last night, as well as a few Harveys, and I really need to just lean against this wall and pray for daylight.” Starlet #2: “I’m still stunned that […]

Past Imperfect – #343

At the Pickfair Mansion, the guests did their best to frolic and enjoy themselves at the poolside party, despite then-current morality which required they sport woolen bathing attire which could sink a battleship. On the plus side, the pain of their discomfort was eased by the free-flowing availability […]