Him: “So, it’s happening again, is it?” Her: “I’m afraid so. It’s Christmas time in the city.” Him: “Silver bells and snowy WordPress themes?” Her: “Ring-a-ling and hear them ping.” Him: “You know, when I was a wee lad, I really enjoyed Christmas. So much wonder and hope.” […]
Bette, left: “What did you just say?” Olivia, right: “I said that I love you as a sister but I can’t fully support you leaving the house looking like that.” Bette: “And why is that?” Olivia: “Well, two reasons. One is that no one wears tropical attire after […]
Little Sally: “Are we really supposed to eat that? It looks like roadkill.” Little Billy: “I know it’s not pretty. But it’s only a month until Christmas and you know what that means.” Little Sally: “That there will be another one of these dead birds on the table?” […]
Leticia could not believe what her mother had just muttered. “Could you repeat that?” Mother: “I said that you should get away from that window before the neighbors see you.” Leticia: “But I want them to see me. This outfit was specially designed for me by La Maison […]
Bellhop: “Madame, I assure you. Nothing untoward will happen if you use the elevator. It’s perfectly safe.” Francesca: “Are you kidding me? Considering how those Americans voted in their latest election, I don’t trust anything anymore.”
Ramon: “Aw, hell, why are you crying this time?” Harriet: “I just feel so blue about our relationship. We seem to be in a rough patch and I don’t know why. Is it something I’ve done?” Ramon: “Not really. Although maybe you shouldn’t cling to me like I’ve […]
Ramon: “Hello, my name is Ramon. I am posing in the sexual way on this railing of boat so you will want to see all of my movies and tell others of them.” Photographer: “What the hell? You don’t need to talk. We’re just doing publicity shots here.” […]
Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]
PR Consultant: “Wow. What exactly were you thinking when you posed for this photo?” Myrna: “Well, initially I thought it would be a brave depiction of what Hollywood actresses look like without all the glamour and makeup.” PR Consultant: “Uh huh. And did you have any second thoughts?” […]
Monty: “Are you okay? You seem to be a bit distraught.” Lizzie: “I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking about things and I’m a little blue.” Monty: “Ah, so you’re aware of it as well. The stylist has given you entirely too much volume for the time period of […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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