In what subsequently proved to be an ill-advised inspiration, Ben and Jean tried spicing up their romantic life by reenacting the German invasion of France. Sadly, Ben arrived home from work early the next afternoon, intent on another incursion, only to find that France was in the midst […]
Charley, middle: “Now, look here, Buford. This is what we call a ‘woman’. They can be quite nice to have around if you know what to do with them.” Buford: “Why I gotta have one of those?” Charley: “They can make you happy. They can cook and they […]
The last known image of Pluto while it was still considered a planet…
Surgeon General’s Warning: Studies have shown that the over-consumption of alcohol is perhaps the only way to survive awkward social engagements with people who have never read a book in their entire lives…
Bette: “I’m so over all of this.” Leslie: “What has you feeling so blue, my love? The lack of decent roles for older women in Hollywood?” Bette: “No, I’m tired of this tiny woman trying to show me her crotch all the time.” Leslie: “She does seem rather […]
Clark: “I just realized something.” Claudette: “That I’m trapped in the gravitational pull of one of your giant ears?” Clark: “Look, I warned you about those things. Don’t get too close unless you’re firmly tied to a boat anchor.” Claudette: “But I am. I’m latched to what’s left […]
Shirley: “This is so exciting, getting to hand you your Academy Award for Best Actress! My curls are tighter than they’ve ever been.” Claudette: “Yes, dear. It’s very exciting. Thrilled to be here. That’s why I brought my coat with me onstage so I can blow this joint […]
Bette: “Hmm. Just as I suspected, the gardener did not trim the begonias as I instructed.” Joan: “How on Earth can you be thinking about flowers at a time like this? You are keeping me prisoner in this house as we both struggle through a movie script that […]
Marlon, inner voice: “Why do I insist on bringing my wife to these staff meetings?” Elizabeth, outer voice: “Where the hell is my vodka gimlet? I ordered one an hour ago.” Marlon, outer voice: “Honey, let’s hold off a bit. I don’t know who you ordered from, but […]
In a rare moment of reflection, one that may or may not have been carefully devised by publicists, director Alfred Hitchcock and star Anthony Perkins discuss their current project, a lovely dissertation on misplaced values known as “Psycho”… Alfred: “So, Tony, how do you think the shoot is […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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