In an alternate reality, one much closer to the truth than he will ever admit, Donald Trump prepares for his next press conference. In the background, nearly hidden behind whatever that odd pole-thing is supposed to be, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, current White House Press Secretary, gnashes her teeth. […]
Archaeologist #1: “What the hell is that?” Archaeologist #2: “Well, based on my research notes, this appears to be a rare specimen from the Golden Age of Hollywood.” Archaeologist #1: “What made that age golden?” Archaeologist #2: “I’m assuming it was a time when humans were able to […]
Theresa: “Okay, I finally finished up on this homemade valentine that you insisted I make for your husband and… are you even listening to me?” Marlene: “Of course I’m listening to you, darling, I’m just not looking at you.” Theresa: “You don’t think that’s rude? I spent all […]
Marlene: “I don’t see why the director wants me to straddle this barrel in such an unseemly way.” Chorus Girl to the Right: “Well, I can see from here why he wants you to do that. He’s apparently not focused on your singing, sweetie. By the way, have […]
Marlene: “It would be nice if you would actually pay attention when I wear a new outfit. Would it kill you to do so?” Gary: “Well, to be fair, you haven’t said a word about my fetching Legionnaire hat. I had it especially made in Morocco.” Marlene: “We’re […]
In an odd moment of happenstance during this shoot, the photographer not only captured Marlene in all her finger-nailed glory, he also managed to invent the tanning bed that soon invaded strip-malls worldwide…
Marlene: “Do I look like I’m impressed with this outfit?” Director: “Well, no. But you never look impressed with anything. Has anybody ever actually seen your teeth? “ Marlene: “I never smile. Smiling is for lazy people.” Director: “Should I mention that Zukor is thinking of doubling your […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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