Every once in a while I wonder Was it really better, then Were things truly simpler, and kinder Decency, Respect Agree to Disagree Move on and get things done Or were we just actors Playing given roles Reading from the script Pretending to pretend Because we didn’t know […]
Gracie learned at a young age that most people were completely useless, and that the only way to have a satisfactory life was to avoid those fools entirely. And keep reading books…
Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there […]
Little Sally: “Are we really supposed to eat that? It looks like roadkill.” Little Billy: “I know it’s not pretty. But it’s only a month until Christmas and you know what that means.” Little Sally: “That there will be another one of these dead birds on the table?” […]
Cary: “You know, there are rumors about me being gay, especially when it comes to playing slap and tickle with a certain roommate I had back in the day.” Jimmy: “Well, there are rumors about me refusing to play slap and tickle with certain socialites with far too […]
Katharine: “I can’t believe that this has happened.” Elizabeth: “That somebody let you out of your house wearing a Bea Arthur outfit?” Katharine: “No, that somebody designed a bra that makes your breasts look like that.” Elizabeth: “But I’m not even wearing a bra.” Katharine: “Oh, that’s even […]
Vivien: “I see that you are sweating. Are you finally ready to admit that you want me more than anything in the world?” Marlon: “Nope, that’s not it. Some drunk guy on Bourbon Street threw his beer at me.” Vivien: “Oh, so that’s the game you’re playing. Making […]
Phyllis was fully aware that she hadn’t attended the best of schools, and perhaps she hadn’t read all the right books during her formative years, and maybe she had slept with the wrong people in order to get this Broadway gig, but one thing was certain: The costume […]
Mae and Jimmy, rehearsing the infamous grapefruit scene. Mae: “I don’t know about this. It sounds kind of violent.” Jimmy: “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m just gonna barely tap you with it. Just like this.” Mae: “But what about that other movie where you dragged me by […]
Paulette: “Hey there, Big Boy. Care for a ride?” Ray: “Where did you find such a tiny thing? I’m not sure I could even fit in there.” Paulette: “Oh, I’m sure we could find something you could fit in. Care to take me for a spin.” Ray: “But […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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