Category: Social Awkwardness

Past Imperfect – #516

Henry: “Are you sure that we should be doing this right now? What about the other guests at the party?” Barbara: “Don’t be such a fuss. Everyone is having cocktails on the lanai. They’ll be out there for hours, guzzling gin and trying to impress each other with […]

Past Imperfect – #515

Henry: “I told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” Anais: “But Henry, we are both progressive writers who have challenged the world to let us speak freely and openly, without hesitation, about our basic carnality and the ways in which we pursue and express it. […]

Past Imperfect – #482

Bobby, far left: “Sometimes I get the feeling that you’re not even listening to me.  Like right now. I’m trying to save our relationship and you’re looking everywhere but at me. How is that supposed to make me feel?” Sandra, near left: “I’m not looking at you because […]

Past Imperfect – #479

Edward, left: “The aroma of this cognac is delicious. How delightful of you to offer such a treat.” Josephine, center: “It doesn’t smell like poison at all, does it?” Jean, right: “Josie, you fool. He’s going to get suspicious if you keep talking like that.” Edward: “Actually, I’m […]

Past Imperfect – #462

Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]

Past Imperfect – #430

Leslie: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s a […]

Past Imperfect – #418

Shirley: “This is so exciting, getting to hand you your Academy Award for Best Actress! My curls are tighter than they’ve ever been.” Claudette: “Yes, dear. It’s very exciting. Thrilled to be here. That’s why I brought my coat with me onstage so I can blow this joint […]

Past Imperfect – #416

Marlon, inner voice: “Why do I insist on bringing my wife to these staff meetings?” Elizabeth, outer voice: “Where the hell is my vodka gimlet? I ordered one an hour ago.” Marlon, outer voice: “Honey, let’s hold off a bit. I don’t know who you ordered from, but […]

Past Imperfect – #401

Gretchen, far left, whispering to Mildred, near left: “Don’t you think there’s something a bit off about this formation?” Mildred: “Whatever do you mean? We’re lined up quite nicely and that small boy over there is already running off to let everyone know that we are promenading in […]