Tallulah was thoroughly unimpressed with her assigned role when the cast was announced for the 1923 London premiere of “A Yankee Thanksgiving: This Is What Happens When You Defy a British Monarch and Hop on a Boat Bound for a Colony That Has No Indoor Plumbing”. The play […]
Henry: “Are you sure that we should be doing this right now? What about the other guests at the party?” Barbara: “Don’t be such a fuss. Everyone is having cocktails on the lanai. They’ll be out there for hours, guzzling gin and trying to impress each other with […]
Henry: “I told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” Anais: “But Henry, we are both progressive writers who have challenged the world to let us speak freely and openly, without hesitation, about our basic carnality and the ways in which we pursue and express it. […]
Bobby, far left: “Sometimes I get the feeling that you’re not even listening to me. Like right now. I’m trying to save our relationship and you’re looking everywhere but at me. How is that supposed to make me feel?” Sandra, near left: “I’m not looking at you because […]
Edward, left: “The aroma of this cognac is delicious. How delightful of you to offer such a treat.” Josephine, center: “It doesn’t smell like poison at all, does it?” Jean, right: “Josie, you fool. He’s going to get suspicious if you keep talking like that.” Edward: “Actually, I’m […]
Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]
Leslie: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s a […]
Shirley: “This is so exciting, getting to hand you your Academy Award for Best Actress! My curls are tighter than they’ve ever been.” Claudette: “Yes, dear. It’s very exciting. Thrilled to be here. That’s why I brought my coat with me onstage so I can blow this joint […]
Marlon, inner voice: “Why do I insist on bringing my wife to these staff meetings?” Elizabeth, outer voice: “Where the hell is my vodka gimlet? I ordered one an hour ago.” Marlon, outer voice: “Honey, let’s hold off a bit. I don’t know who you ordered from, but […]
As Mrs. Shawn rounded the corner into the living room, she finally began to understand why her son had never married…
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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