“Hi! I’m Daisy. I just had a operation and they gave me morphine. I like morphine, it’s my friend. My foot likes morphine, too. See? And this shower brush likes morphine. I don’t know where it came from, but he’s nice. Do you know where they make morphine? […]
Delilah was in a woeful state, plagued by many troubling issues. She had recently lost her job due to a misunderstanding about the proper time for alcohol consumption. She had lost her favorite boyfriend because she didn’t realize that she was only supposed to have one. And most […]
The First Rule in Attracting a Decent Man: Do not appear in settings where the wallpaper can overpower your mere existence. They have enough trouble finding you as it is…
Gracie had a complete misunderstanding about the spiritual significance of her upcoming wedding-night activities…
In a rare moment of reflection, Marie Antoinette pauses to think of someone other than herself. The moment didn’t last very long. Neither did she…
The casting director was mortified when she got her first peek at the onscreen chemistry of her two stars. She promptly opened a bottle of gin and then began cleaning out her office desk…
This Broadway show closed precisely two minutes after it opened. No one ever spoke of it again…
The family was greatly saddened to learn that once again someone among them had not bothered to measure twice, cut once…
This misguided attempt to Rehabilitate the Gays failed miserably, for a number of reasons…
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to… wait a minute. Where are the feathers? Where’s the DRESS? Has Lola gotten into her Momma’s happy-pill bottle? Bad Lola. (And that poor miniature dog that has to […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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