Tag: Writing

Past Imperfect – #561

Humphrey: “Is it really that hard for you to at least look at me when I’m talking to you?” Lauren: “Oh, don’t be such a stick, Bogie. I’m sure that whatever you’re babbling about has some degree of merit, but right now I’m watching the election returns in […]

Past Imperfect – #559

Fred, left: “I’m sorry to intrude, but I just found these undergarments in the hallway, and I thought I might inquire as to whether or not you might wish to claim ownership.” Melvyn, center: “Good God, man. Why so many words? Couldn’t you have just asked ‘are these […]

Past Imperfect – #558

Carole: “Don’t you find this to be a little bit… insipid?” Carole’s Agent: “Of course not. Don’t all women want to be dainty and clean? This ad is doing a public service, really.” Carole: “Oh, please. Like women don’t know how to sluice the chute without the help […]

Past Imperfect – #555

Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]

Past Imperfect – #554

Heidi, apparently just back from Rehab: “Grandpa, I missed you so.” Grandpa, apparently in need of such: “And I missed you, too, little… um… I’m sorry. I can’t recall your name. Our family breeds like rabbits on moonshine and there are 47 girls running about who look just […]

Past Imperfect – #553

Some Woman That Is Not Lucy: “And here’s a bit of coffee that can work better than Viagra if you would just let go of your psychological speed bumps.” Desi: “Who the hell are you?” Not Lucy: “I come from the future. But don’t think about it too […]

Past Imperfect – #552

George: “I’m so happy to finally have you in my arms.” Janet: “Oh, is that what you’re calling these things that are encircling my virginal body with an intensity that I can’t fully appreciate? For some reason, the phrase ‘death claws’ comes to mind.” George: “Whatever do you […]

Past Imperfect – #551

Carole was a bit troubled. That last things she could firmly recall in the fevered menagerie of her mind was that she had spent a quiet evening at home, enjoying a bit of stir-fry based on a recipe a neighbor had handed her during one of those awkward […]