Past Imperfect – #522
After a grueling twenty minutes of being on the film set with all the Little People, Joan retreats to her Personal Adoration Chamber for a few hours of reflection and self-worship…
After a grueling twenty minutes of being on the film set with all the Little People, Joan retreats to her Personal Adoration Chamber for a few hours of reflection and self-worship…
Real Barbara: “I just don’t understand why I’m not getting the movie roles that I deserve.” Mirror Barbara: “Well, let me see if I can help you out with that. For starters, what’s up with that dress you’re wearing? It says all the wrong things at all the […]
Perfume bottle on the left: “Oh, God, she’s doing it again.” Powder puff on the right: “I feel your pain. All we want is to just sit on this table in peace and hope that nobody knocks our asses to the floor where we shatter into a thousand […]
In a moment of hysterical vanity, Portia commissioned a trendy designer to create a dress that would make it look like hundreds of angels were worshipping the success of her low-carb diet. Seven minutes later, a random maidservant pointed out that her couture also looked like hundreds of […]
Nigel: “I’m so happy to be working with the two of you on this film. I know it may not seem like that, what with my argyle-encrusted foot attempting to hog the scene, but I think this is a special moment. At least that’s the sensation I’m getting […]
Mary Pickford: “What do you mean this doesn’t look realistic?” Douglas Fairbanks: “We’re supposed to be looking like the typical American family so the people in Kansas will go see our movies. How does any of this say any of that?” Mary: “Well, we’re in a boat. People […]
Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]
Angelina was not in a festive mood. She had only agreed to pose for the up-and-coming photographer due to a whimsical bet that had gone awry at the country club. Then there was that whole mess with some government guy wanting to speak with her about the legal […]
Darla Mae had obviously been reading the wrong beauty magazines, but her friends just didn’t have the strength to tell her…
Gaby, Lois and Sweet Pea did their best to pretend that the car door had not fallen off their vehicle, because to acknowledge such would take the spotlight off their expensive couture, and we couldn’t have that…
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