Category: Vanity

Past Imperfect – #487

Real Barbara: “I just don’t understand why I’m not getting the movie roles that I deserve.” Mirror Barbara: “Well, let me see if I can help you out with that. For starters, what’s up with that dress you’re wearing? It says all the wrong things at all the […]

Past Imperfect – #414

In a moment of hysterical vanity, Portia commissioned a trendy designer to create a dress that would make it look like hundreds of angels were worshipping the success of her low-carb diet. Seven minutes later, a random maidservant pointed out that her couture also looked like hundreds of […]

Past Imperfect – #309

Mary Pickford: “What do you mean this doesn’t look realistic?” Douglas Fairbanks: “We’re supposed to be looking like the typical American family so the people in Kansas will go see our movies. How does any of this say any of that?” Mary: “Well, we’re in a boat. People […]

Past Imperfect – #297

Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]

Past Imperfect – #94

Angelina was not in a festive mood. She had only agreed to pose for the up-and-coming photographer due to a whimsical bet that had gone awry at the country club. Then there was that whole mess with some government guy wanting to speak with her about the legal […]