Anne, far left: “Well, what do we have here? It appears that George has arrived, dubiously escorting some young strumpet with stars in her eyes. How gauche.” Bette, near left: “Oh, come now, Anne. If memory serves, you were the strumpet in question a mere two days ago, […]
This is what happens when artsy people overthink things whilst posing for Selfies… Poser on the Left: “Okay, I’m going to stand like this, and then you stand like you might really like me or you might think I’m a serial killer.” Poser on the Right: “Got it. […]
Professor Eugene Oregonus is a member of the tenured faculty at The University for People Who Can Actually Afford to Go Here. As such, with that “tenured” angle, just like Supreme Court justices who are worthless but somehow got the promotion, he can say whatever he wants without […]
Bertram: “I really don’t care for this coffee table.” Beatrice: “Oh, really? You just don’t understand modern design, something you might have a better grasp of if you were weren’t constantly grasping a bottle of bourbon. That table is lovely. It was created by an artist in Paris […]
Man: “You just go up those stairs over there, take the elevator down to platform 3, get on the District Line going east, get off at the Stepney Green station, and then walk two blocks down Globe Road.” Woman: “But why are you sending me there?” Man: “Because […]
Ethel #1: “We got one of those fellas with a camera up in here again.” Ethel #2: “Lord sakes. What the hell do they want now?” Ethel #1: “It ain’t Christian, you can count on that.” Ethel #2: “You still got the sign in the window, right?” Ethel […]
It appears that it must be election season again, when a certain political party once more resorts to hypocritical grand-standing over actual substance. Or it could be “open mic” night at the local zoo. Same thing, different PR spin…
Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]
Joan: “Do you think the tree is a bit much?” Alfred: “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the crackling sounds of the plastic you insist be on these couches.” Joan: “The tree, darling. Is it overdone?” Alfred: “Compared to your eyebrows? No.”
With the introduction of the Otis Autotronic Elevator on Tulane Street in New Orleans, Bridgette was hired as a spokesperson to allay the fears of the local citizenry that placing your faith in a moving metal box could lead to debauchery and Democratic-voting. Sadly, Bridgette was unable to […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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