Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]
At the very last moment, the Sharks hired Marlon Soprano, a freelance dancer who didn’t care which team he played for as long as he got to perform his signature move, a double backflip ending in a manly split dripping with testosterone but no actual damage to the […]
Brian, left: “What the hell are you doing? I’m standing here looking incredibly sexy even though there seems to be something neutered going on with my pants.” Mary, right: “I’m just so fed up with people I want to scream and bang on something loud.” Brian: “Okay. Are […]
Vivien: “I see that you are sweating. Are you finally ready to admit that you want me more than anything in the world?” Marlon: “Nope, that’s not it. Some drunk guy on Bourbon Street threw his beer at me.” Vivien: “Oh, so that’s the game you’re playing. Making […]
Marlon, center left: “Honey, these gentlemen would like to speak to you about our houseboy who went missing last night.” Elizabeth, center right: “Why on earth would they think I had anything to do with that?” Marlon: “Well, it’s your hair, dear. It’s obvious that it can’t be […]
Kim: “Now, Marlon, let’s not jump to conclusions here.” Marlon: “How can I not jump? I come home from a hard day’s work of looking sexy as hell on the streets of New Orleans and I find this!” Kim: “It’s not what you think.” Marlon: “Well, I think […]
Director John: “And over here, Liz will make her entrance in some gown designed by Valentino.” Actor Marlon: “That explains all the lights. But why the big production?” John: “Because it’s Elizabeth Taylor. She never just walks into a room. It’s always an event. You know this.” Marlon: […]
Marlon: “I know you’re keeping secrets from me, now spill it!” Vivien: “Moi? Why, whatever could you be talking about?” Marlon: “Like why is this arm so much bigger than your other one?”
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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