Tag: Blogging

Past Imperfect – #576

Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]

Past Imperfect – #575

Meredith knew she had put it off long enough. She had hemmed. She had hawed. She had worked on things that didn’t need working, piddled with things that didn’t need piddling, and dicked with things that didn’t need dicking. She had even scrubbed all the toilets in the […]

Past Imperfect – #574

Ed, Professional Hoofer from New Jersey: “And for the last bit of the dance finale, do this little side kick and shake your moneymaker like it’s on fire.” Starlet #1, far left: “You mean our moneymakers. Plural.” Ed: “No, I mean singular. The good ole thrust and grind […]

Past Imperfect – #538

It was at this precise moment when a young Ronald Reagan began confusing “starlets who will desperately do anything to catch the eye of a casting agent” with “everybody loves me and I should run for President!” Sadly, this disconnect with reality has since become the hallmark of […]

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]

Past Imperfect – #514

Edward VIII, abdicator and fool for love, left: “Do either of you know why we were invited to pose in this ridiculous manner, as if we’re part of a synchronized swimming team off the coast of Atlantic City, circa 1905?” Billy Crudup, once-promising movie star who flared for […]

Past Imperfect – #509

Within minutes of the start of the advertising shoot, it became crystal clear that something was terribly awry. Let’s listen in as the models attempt to psychologically survive the madness of the wrong people making the wrong decisions at all the wrong times… Poutina, left: “We are never […]

Past Imperfect – #464

Ramon: “Aw, hell, why are you crying this time?” Harriet: “I just feel so blue about our relationship. We seem to be in a rough patch and I don’t know why. Is it something I’ve done?” Ramon: “Not really. Although maybe you shouldn’t cling to me like I’ve […]

Past Imperfect – #461

PR Consultant: “Wow. What exactly were you thinking when you posed for this photo?” Myrna: “Well, initially I thought it would be a brave depiction of what Hollywood actresses look like without all the glamour and makeup.” PR Consultant: “Uh huh. And did you have any second thoughts?” […]