Police Officer: “M’am, I’m sorry to bother you since you seem to be so comfortable in that position, but I do have a few questions about what happened tonight.” Comfortable Lady: “I don’t mind. I’ve never been one to shy away from confrontation. Ask away.” Officer: “Well, we […]
Barbara Jean failed to heed her mother’s advice that if she didn’t stop doing that she would stick that way, and stick she eventually did. After that, the only job Barbara Jean could get was as a letter opener…
These were considered appropriate Halloween costumes in the early 1900s. How can you sleep peacefully after seeing this? No wonder Sigmund Freud was in his heyday during this time. (Sometimes a cigar is just a woman exploding out of a giant mushroom whilst a forefather of Duck Dynasty […]
Elizabeth cautiously ascended the stairs, knowing full well that the film critics would lacerate her performance simply because she was far prettier than most film critics…
In yet another example of high fashion taking an extremely wrong turn, Dolores gamely tries to retain her dignity whilst hoisting a primitive weapon and sporting granny panties…
Man in the background, left: “See, this is what happens when I take the missus out for a Sunday stroll. She always finds a pack of urchins with the same haircut, and she thinks that by throwing them little tidbits of candy she is somehow improving the world. […]
Despite having stolen money from her employer, running from the po-po, and checking into a questionable establishment where Anthony Perkins had some really serious self-esteem issues, Janet was most concerned that the home pregnancy test made it very clear that her personal hotel room was now occupado. She […]
Leslie: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s a […]
Kim: “Now, Marlon, let’s not jump to conclusions here.” Marlon: “How can I not jump? I come home from a hard day’s work of looking sexy as hell on the streets of New Orleans and I find this!” Kim: “It’s not what you think.” Marlon: “Well, I think […]
The lovely evening had been going splendidly until Claudette laughed just a bit too hard and the cauliflower casserole from dinner backfired unexpectedly. Her bloomers billowed, the conversation ceased, the cab driver discreetly rolled down a window before they all perished, and a second date did not transpire… […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
Crusty Pie 
Recent Comments