Month: August 2016

Past Imperfect – #403

Mary: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Mirror: “I said that you really shouldn’t leave the house wearing such a mess. Especially if you plan to flop your hands around like that. You’re not six years old anymore, honey.” Mary: “But I’m America’s Sweetheart!” Mirror: “Well, you look […]

Past Imperfect – #402

Butler: “You rang, Lady Penelope?” Penny: “Yes, Arturo. I need you to ring up Greta Garbo and then hand me the phone.” Arturo: “May I inquire into the nature of this call? I’m sure her people will have questions before simply rousing her from a private slumber and […]

Past Imperfect – #401

Gretchen, far left, whispering to Mildred, near left: “Don’t you think there’s something a bit off about this formation?” Mildred: “Whatever do you mean? We’re lined up quite nicely and that small boy over there is already running off to let everyone know that we are promenading in […]

Past Imperfect – #400

Momma: “Lucille, get away from the fireplace. We live in the projects, you don’t know what might fall out of there.” Lucille: “But Momma, it’s Christmas Eve. Santa is coming!” Momma: “Santa? Baby Girl, Santa doesn’t know where we live. We’re on welfare.” Lucille: “That’s not true. If […]

Past Imperfect – #399

Mae Rose, left: “Why are they making us pose for this picture?” Clara, right: “Because our parents are misguided fools who think that the mere act of procreation has elevated them to an award-worthy status and we are their trophies, as if no one else has ever copulated […]

Past Imperfect – #397

Photographer: “Was there an issue with the mascara?” Model: “No, there was an issue with the cellophane. I look like an Easter basket on morphine.” Photographer: “Ah. Well, that’s just how we do business in America. We package things up real pretty and hope nobody pays any attention […]

Past Imperfect – #395

Phyllis was fully aware that she hadn’t attended the best of schools, and perhaps she hadn’t read all the right books during her formative years, and maybe she had slept with the wrong people in order to get this Broadway gig, but one thing was certain: The costume […]