Vivien: “I see that you are sweating. Are you finally ready to admit that you want me more than anything in the world?” Marlon: “Nope, that’s not it. Some drunk guy on Bourbon Street threw his beer at me.” Vivien: “Oh, so that’s the game you’re playing. Making […]
“Hi, my name is Any Woman, and I was a prostitute in the infamous Storyville section of New Orleans, and my voice from the past is here to warn you that one hundred years later there will still be Republican men who will do everything they can to […]
Becky: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom: “But Huck said that all the answers we ever wanted are at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks up […]
Ethel #1: “We got one of those fellas with a camera up in here again.” Ethel #2: “Lord sakes. What the hell do they want now?” Ethel #1: “It ain’t Christian, you can count on that.” Ethel #2: “You still got the sign in the window, right?” Ethel […]
In the wee New Orleans hours, a discussion takes place. Manhole Cover: “Hey buddy, what happened to you?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “How did you get all caved-in like that?” Sidewalk: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Manhole: “I’m just trying to […]
Despite the best efforts of the hotel staff, word somehow got out that Warren Beatty was staying at the Pontchartrain Royale and a few of his possibly illegitimate offspring showed up seeking child support…
The members of the Dumbass Gang should have known that the bank robbery was not going to work out in their favor when they hired Ernie the Milkman as their getaway driver…
Members of the Gamma Alpha Upsilon fraternity attend Mardi Gras, 1938. Fedora: “I really tried to get in the spirit of things with my frat brothers, but at the last minute my rigid Southern Baptist upbringing ruined it all. I have a feeling I’m going to be saying […]
Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]
Old Absinthe Sign: “I am so tired of all these tourists.” Bienville Street Sign: “Seriously? You’ve been here over two hundred years and you haven’t learned how to deal with it yet?” Absinthe: “You don’t understand. All these grimy rednecks come staggering in here, thinking they can find […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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