Mike Todd: “Wow, they’ll run any kind of gossip on this news ticker in Times Square. Are you seeing this?” Elizabeth Taylor: “Of course I’m seeing it, dear. Just because I have violet eyes doesn’t mean I can’t see the same things other people see.” Mike: “You have […]
Monty: “Are you okay? You seem to be a bit distraught.” Lizzie: “I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking about things and I’m a little blue.” Monty: “Ah, so you’re aware of it as well. The stylist has given you entirely too much volume for the time period of […]
Elizabeth cautiously ascended the stairs, knowing full well that the film critics would lacerate her performance simply because she was far prettier than most film critics…
Katharine: “I can’t believe that this has happened.” Elizabeth: “That somebody let you out of your house wearing a Bea Arthur outfit?” Katharine: “No, that somebody designed a bra that makes your breasts look like that.” Elizabeth: “But I’m not even wearing a bra.” Katharine: “Oh, that’s even […]
Marlon, center left: “Honey, these gentlemen would like to speak to you about our houseboy who went missing last night.” Elizabeth, center right: “Why on earth would they think I had anything to do with that?” Marlon: “Well, it’s your hair, dear. It’s obvious that it can’t be […]
Director John: “And over here, Liz will make her entrance in some gown designed by Valentino.” Actor Marlon: “That explains all the lights. But why the big production?” John: “Because it’s Elizabeth Taylor. She never just walks into a room. It’s always an event. You know this.” Marlon: […]
Let’s eavesdrop on the wedding participants’ thoughts, shall we? Left to right. Conrad Hilton: “I am so glad that Elizabeth Taylor agreed to marry me. I’m sure her decision had nothing to do with my family being so wealthy that we can buy elections and entire countries.” Elizabeth […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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