Harmon, the first husband: “I know our relationship is rocky, and that you will one day leave me because I’m an insufferable sexist, but can I at least say you look stunningly beautiful in this moment.” Bette: “Why, Harmon Oscar, such a notion from you. I must say […]
Sadie: “I suppose I could do that. How much are you willing to pay me?” Nigel: “I didn’t say anything about paying you.” Sadie: “Then I didn’t say anything about doing it.” Nigel: “But I have leverage on you, my dear. I know what you did with that […]
Leslie: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s a […]
Therapist: “But you must tell me everything about all of your repressed issues. Otherwise, I will never be able to heal you and write a bestselling book about how I saved you from the depths of depravity.” Leslie: “But I can’t even look at you.” Therapist: “Are you […]
Surgeon General’s Warning: Studies have shown that the over-consumption of alcohol is perhaps the only way to survive awkward social engagements with people who have never read a book in their entire lives…
Bette: “I’m so over all of this.” Leslie: “What has you feeling so blue, my love? The lack of decent roles for older women in Hollywood?” Bette: “No, I’m tired of this tiny woman trying to show me her crotch all the time.” Leslie: “She does seem rather […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
Crusty Pie 
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