Tag: Humor

Past Imperfect – #544

Carole, Actress: “Wait a minute, I’m sensing something.” Robert, Actor: “And I’m sensing that you’re straddling my crotch with malevolent intent. Not that I mind.” Carole: “No, it goes beyond our crude attempt to get past the censors with suggestive but benign foreplay. It seems that a writer […]

Past Imperfect – #543

At the very last moment, the Sharks hired Marlon Soprano, a freelance dancer who didn’t care which team he played for as long as he got to perform his signature move, a double backflip ending in a manly split dripping with testosterone but no actual damage to the […]

Past Imperfect – #541

Rita’s exuberance on learning that she had just won the lead role in “Gilda”, although completely understandable, was not entirely appreciated by the guests at her weekly Float and Guzzle pool party. After all, once you get chlorine in your beverage, things can go sour rather quickly…  

Past Imperfect – #540

This is what therapists call “the money shot”, when the narcissism becomes so overwhelming that dinner is delayed whilst Vida Loca tap-dances where the Boeuf Bourguignon should be. Said therapists then race to clear their appointment schedules, because Vida will soon be knocking on one of their doors, […]

Past Imperfect – #539

Gary, left: “I’d really prefer it if you would stop clutching me in such a manner.” Jean, center: “But darling, just because I’ve been convicted of manslaughter doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.” Gary: “We might have to disagree on that. Especially since your manslaughtering was focused […]

Past Imperfect – #538

It was at this precise moment when a young Ronald Reagan began confusing “starlets who will desperately do anything to catch the eye of a casting agent” with “everybody loves me and I should run for President!” Sadly, this disconnect with reality has since become the hallmark of […]

Past Imperfect – #536

It wasn’t until this precise moment that Katharine realized she might have erred slightly in selecting an outfit that would entice her betrothed on their wedding night. It didn’t help matters that newly-minted hubby immediately dialed 911 even though the system hadn’t been invented yet. Still, the show […]

Past Imperfect – #535

Maria: “I just have one prayer, oh Mighty Isis. Could you please send me a publicist who knows how to focus a camera? Okay, maybe two prayers. It would be nice if the costume designer on this gig didn’t feel compelled to disguise the fact that I have […]