Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]
Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]
PR Consultant: “Wow. What exactly were you thinking when you posed for this photo?” Myrna: “Well, initially I thought it would be a brave depiction of what Hollywood actresses look like without all the glamour and makeup.” PR Consultant: “Uh huh. And did you have any second thoughts?” […]
Monty: “Are you okay? You seem to be a bit distraught.” Lizzie: “I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking about things and I’m a little blue.” Monty: “Ah, so you’re aware of it as well. The stylist has given you entirely too much volume for the time period of […]
Archaeologist #1: “What the hell is that?” Archaeologist #2: “Well, based on my research notes, this appears to be a rare specimen from the Golden Age of Hollywood.” Archaeologist #1: “What made that age golden?” Archaeologist #2: “I’m assuming it was a time when humans were able to […]
Perfume bottle on the left: “Oh, God, she’s doing it again.” Powder puff on the right: “I feel your pain. All we want is to just sit on this table in peace and hope that nobody knocks our asses to the floor where we shatter into a thousand […]
The original inspiration for Mitt Romney’s infamous (and election-costing) comment about “binders of women”.
Orson, left: “Why are you staring at me like that? Can’t a guy watch a movie in peace?” Joseph, right: “Well, I couldn’t help but notice that you appear to be… attending to a self-pleasure ritual that is not quite appropriate for our establishment.” Orson: “Look, I paid […]
Linda was surprised that her employer would walk in on her like that. Her employer was surprised that his maid had completely misunderstood his request that she clean the cobwebs out of the corners…
Barbara Jean failed to heed her mother’s advice that if she didn’t stop doing that she would stick that way, and stick she eventually did. After that, the only job Barbara Jean could get was as a letter opener…
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
Crusty Pie 
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