It was a really swell evening at the nightclub until Humphrey apparently became distracted… Lauren: “If you’re looking for the drink menu, that’s not where it is.” Humphrey: “Well, something is there. Have you seen this?” Lauren: “Who hasn’t? Still, put your eyeballs back in, here come the […]
Bernie: “Lolly, why did you get out of the car? Where are you going?” Lolly: “I’m fed up with it, Bernie. I can’t take it anymore.” Bernie: “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just walk away. You don’t know what’s down that road.” Lolly: “I know you’re not down […]
This is what happens when artsy people overthink things whilst posing for Selfies… Poser on the Left: “Okay, I’m going to stand like this, and then you stand like you might really like me or you might think I’m a serial killer.” Poser on the Right: “Got it. […]
Cherub on the Left: “What the hell is she doing?” Cherub on the Right: “By the looks of it, orgasming.” Left: “From just a spritz? We should all be so lucky. I wonder what’s in the bottle?” Right: “Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t smell like her […]
Professor Eugene Oregonus is a member of the tenured faculty at The University for People Who Can Actually Afford to Go Here. As such, with that “tenured” angle, just like Supreme Court justices who are worthless but somehow got the promotion, he can say whatever he wants without […]
Jimmy: “I’m sorry, what did you just ask?” Maggie: “Where is your Husband Department?” Jimmy: “Are you trying to find the Men’s clothing section?” Maggie: “No, Husband. I need a new one.” Jimmy: “May I inquire as to what’s wrong with the old one?” Maggie: “He’s just not […]
Meanwhile, as auditions are being held at the St. James Theater for the next Rodgers and Hammerstein smash… Richard: “I don’t know what I’m going to do with this cigarette butt when I’m done. Oh, wait, it’s 1948. I’ll just throw it on the floor like everybody else […]
At St. Zena’s Academy for Women Who Like to Wear Matching Outfits and Don’t Bother to Do Anything Interesting with Their Hair, a hush fell over the room as the students received that day’s assignment: “Wherefore art thou, Waldo?”
Marlene: “I don’t see why the director wants me to straddle this barrel in such an unseemly way.” Chorus Girl to the Right: “Well, I can see from here why he wants you to do that. He’s apparently not focused on your singing, sweetie. By the way, have […]
In this unsubtle bit of staging, the lighting director helps the slower members of the audience understand who they should support in this situation. The Bad Guy is the evil man in the shadows (most prominent feature: gleaming teeth) who is clearly intent on causing dismay for people […]
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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