Category: Wrong on Many Levels

Past Imperfect – #524

Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]

Past Imperfect – #513

The orphans at St. Buckworth’s Hostel for Cast-Aside Waifs knew they had a challenge ahead of them if they had any chance of retaining governmental funding during a Republican administration, so they did their best to appear charming and resourceful. Let’s listen in as they await the arrival […]

Past Imperfect – #480

Peter, left: “Dr. Greenstreet, my wife and I are quite grateful that you were able to come on such short notice. We called you in because the whole town knows you are a specialist at analyzing odd objects that have not been properly framed by the cinematographer. What […]

Past Imperfect – #437

Man in the background, left: “See, this is what happens when I take the missus out for a Sunday stroll. She always finds a pack of urchins with the same haircut, and she thinks that by throwing them little tidbits of candy she is somehow improving the world. […]

Past Imperfect – #423

Charley, middle: “Now, look here, Buford. This is what we call a ‘woman’. They can be quite nice to have around if you know what to do with them.” Buford: “Why I gotta have one of those?” Charley: “They can make you happy. They can cook and they […]

Past Imperfect – #411

At the end of the day, Melanie did have a few regrets. Perhaps she shouldn’t have chosen to wear ballet slippers with an outfit that otherwise made it very clear that she worked on the serving line at the local all-you-can-eat buffet. Perhaps she should have invested a […]

Past Imperfect – #380

At the quilting bee, an intriguing conversation took place… Self-satisfied woman on the far right: “Girls, you are not going to believe what happened last night. I had my first orgasm!” Confused woman on the left: “Orgasm? Isn’t that what the Japanese do when they make paper swans?” […]

Past Imperfect – #378

Deep in an underground research bunker, because above-ground bunkers are just not as exciting, a conversation is taking place… Historian #1, the guy with the most seniority: “This is an amazing artifact. Where on earth did you manage to find this?” Historian #2, with no seniority at all […]

Past Imperfect – #289

Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]