Archivist #1: “Are you thinking what I’m thinking about this photo we just found in Eleanor Roosevelt’s private stash?” Archivist #2: “Probably not. You’re thinking that this finally proves the lesbian theories about Eleanor, because you’re a stunted straight male who instinctually assumes that women who frolic together […]
Terry paused, fully aware of which bathroom was more self-identifying, but trying to remember what state this was and whether or not there were any insipid rules created by local politicians who couldn’t care less about some of their constituents…
Celine: “Are you serious?” Rupert: “I know! I couldn’t believe it myself. My parents actually think that I’m heterosexual and that you and I are in a relationship.” Celine: “That’s wonderful! Let’s head over to Christopher Street and wait for Gay Pride to be invented.”
This is what happens when artsy people overthink things whilst posing for Selfies… Poser on the Left: “Okay, I’m going to stand like this, and then you stand like you might really like me or you might think I’m a serial killer.” Poser on the Right: “Got it. […]
Mommy: “The end. Now, wasn’t that a lovely fairytale?” Sally: “Well…” Billy: “I don’t think the Prince is going to be very happy.” Mommy: “But he got to marry the princess!” Sally: “I don’t think he really wanted to marry her. He only did it because the families […]
The young men bravely decided to express their love to the rest of the township, bracing for considerable outrage. And there was, mostly from people who couldn’t understand why the hell the boys couldn’t put some damn shoes on a take a proper photograph…
Lady on the Left: “I hate this stupid motorcycle club and I wish I’d never signed up for it. This is what I get for agreeing to do something after I’d had 14 Sloe Gin Fizzes at the barbecue last Saturday. Drinking just makes me say yes when […]
By posing for this photo, Bill and Mary Franklin are adding weight to the theorem that couples in long-term relationships tend to start looking like one another. In the background, Bill Junior is saddened by the vision of what his future holds. In the further background, an in-the-closet […]
Farley: “But do you even know why I’m smiling?” Robert: “That line isn’t in the script.” Farley: “Nor is my attraction to you.” Robert: “Really? Well, we just took a turn I wasn’t expecting.” Farley: “Oh, please. You’re the one that ordered the 120-proof bottle of liquor over […]
Well, you have to give him credit for flamboyantly making sure that no one can see that illusion-destroying adam’s apple. And she gets bonus points for making culottes fashionable again, although he might want to work on the proper use of a measuring tape…
I know I’ve been a very bad boy, off doing my own thing and (mostly) ignoring WordPress. It’s been a full two weeks since I’ve posted anything here, and I’m mildly blue about such. That being the case, I thought I’d best share something extra fun (at least in my own mind) to make amends. […]
In a random moment of erratic thinking, I thought it might be fun to compare my own psychological development with a fictional TV family. Here we go… 1. Cindy At first, this little urchin seems to be a non-starter, as we have little in common on the surface. But as I pondered more (there’s always […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena L. Sweetie, Fess up. Were you drinking when […]
Laura thought she had the perfect existence. After all, four suitors were vying for her hand in marriage. Of course, three of them were related, although it wasn’t clear if they were related to her or each other or some combination therein. (This is what happens when the same families live in the same small […]
Note: This is a piece I recently shared on Medium, “my other blogging network”… I’ve been tagged a number of times regarding this concept, gentle nudges of inspiration, and I was feeling a bit guilty about ignoring said prompts and not jumping into the fray. And so it came to be, on this otherwise uneventful […]
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