Category: Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #532

In the original concept of child daycare facilities, designed by one Otto von Benchmark, there were a few regulations which did not quite gel. One of the first stipulations that bit the dust was the requirement that all potential enrollees in the facility had to be of a […]

Past Imperfect – #525

Director: “Greta, dear, it would be really swell if you could get off this couch and report to the set. Because making movies works best when the actors actually do that. Are you following me?” Greta: “Following you? Are you talking about SpaceLook? You know I don’t do […]

Past Imperfect – #519

Meanwhile, in one of those conservative states where people voted for Trump because they apparently relish alternative facts over progress, another wedding night ensues… Deanna, left: “Darling, I couldn’t help but notice that your father is in the room as we are about to make whoopee.” Robert, middle: […]

Past Imperfect – #508

Lady on the Left: “I don’t think I’m adequately prepared for what is about to happen in this short story.” Lady in the Middle: “You’re going to go there already? Give the writer a chance. He’s just trying to make a living like all the rest of us.” […]

Past Imperfect – #490

Jeanne: “I can’t believe what is going on over there.” Michael: “And I can’t believe the someone was actually paid to make your hair look like that.” Jeanne: “Wait, what? Do you understand the button you just pushed?” Michael: “Um… maybe not. I didn’t realize that I had […]

Past Imperfect – #489

Joy: “Humphrey, tell me the rumor isn’t true!” Humphrey: “I’m afraid it is. This is the smallest table to ever appear in a nightclub. I don’t know how it’s holding up my bottle of hooch. I better drink more before the table collapses.” Joy: “Oh, I’ve already emotionally […]

Past Imperfect – #488

Boris, left: “Gentlemen, I have some tragic news to report.” Henry, middle: “Our plan to steal the body of Walt Whitman has failed?” Bela, right: “The Barbershop Quartet Selection Committee turned us down because we don’t have enough members?” Boris: “Oh, I wasn’t aware that we were still […]

Past Imperfect – #485

Boris: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down?” Ginger: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is a piñata that we got in Guadalajara when we were watching all […]

Past Imperfect – #472

Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]