Category: Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #576

Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]

Past Imperfect – #573

In an alternate reality, one much closer to the truth than he will ever admit, Donald Trump prepares for his next press conference. In the background, nearly hidden behind whatever that odd pole-thing is supposed to be, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, current White House Press Secretary, gnashes her teeth. […]

Past Imperfect – #561

Humphrey: “Is it really that hard for you to at least look at me when I’m talking to you?” Lauren: “Oh, don’t be such a stick, Bogie. I’m sure that whatever you’re babbling about has some degree of merit, but right now I’m watching the election returns in […]

Past Imperfect – #540

This is what therapists call “the money shot”, when the narcissism becomes so overwhelming that dinner is delayed whilst Vida Loca tap-dances where the Boeuf Bourguignon should be. Said therapists then race to clear their appointment schedules, because Vida will soon be knocking on one of their doors, […]

Past Imperfect – #539

Gary, left: “I’d really prefer it if you would stop clutching me in such a manner.” Jean, center: “But darling, just because I’ve been convicted of manslaughter doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends.” Gary: “We might have to disagree on that. Especially since your manslaughtering was focused […]

Past Imperfect – #532

In the original concept of child daycare facilities, designed by one Otto von Benchmark, there were a few regulations which did not quite gel. One of the first stipulations that bit the dust was the requirement that all potential enrollees in the facility had to be of a […]

Past Imperfect – #525

Director: “Greta, dear, it would be really swell if you could get off this couch and report to the set. Because making movies works best when the actors actually do that. Are you following me?” Greta: “Following you? Are you talking about SpaceLook? You know I don’t do […]

Past Imperfect – #519

Meanwhile, in one of those conservative states where people voted for Trump because they apparently relish alternative facts over progress, another wedding night ensues… Deanna, left: “Darling, I couldn’t help but notice that your father is in the room as we are about to make whoopee.” Robert, middle: […]