Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]
At the start of the photo shoot, Clara had been very excited and about being aboard a sailing ship on a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the seagulls were making delightful gull noises, the gently bobbing waves were soothing, and the refreshing salty breeze reminded her of […]
Irene: “When I was a little girl, I dreamed of standing outside a wagon-wheeled bungalow while a dark-haired man tried to win my affections.” Cary: “How fascinating. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of wearing questionable socks and glossy short-shorts.” Irene: “That doesn’t sound right. Are […]
Bette: “Olivia, girlfriend, hold up a minute…” Olivia: “God, this fried rice is so good. This is better than winning an Oscar.” Bette: “You’ve got my hair caught in your chopsticks.” Olivia: “You still have hair? I assumed that was a wig.” Bette: “Don’t sass me, young lady. […]
Left to right, Model #1: “Damn those prop people backstage. They gave me the one handbag that had an unpaid bill hanging out of it. Just my luck. Hopefully, the annoying print on my dress will draw the focus. And this hairdo. What’s up with that afro-puff on […]
Yvonne: “I just have one question.” Director: “I’m not surprised. None of you actors can just walk in and get to work, can you?” Yvonne: “Of course not. That’s why we have a union. What is my motivation in this scene?” Director, sighing: “I curse the day that […]
Peggy: “I don’t know about this. Explain to me again why I’m holding a gun and wearing this outfit?” Photographer: “Two guns, actually. You are showing the world that you are taking charge of your life but can still look sexy while doing it.” Peggy: “And what part […]
Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]
Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]
Greta: “Oh, Robert, you must hold me now.” Robert: “Of course, my darling. Whatever is the matter? You look a bit tepid despite the wonderful lighting.” Greta: “It’s so awful. I don’t know where to begin.” Robert: “Are you speaking of those horrid tassels on the left side […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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