Mae and Jimmy, rehearsing the infamous grapefruit scene. Mae: “I don’t know about this. It sounds kind of violent.” Jimmy: “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m just gonna barely tap you with it. Just like this.” Mae: “But what about that other movie where you dragged me by […]
Mae: “You know, something just occurred to me.” Jimmy: “And what are your thoughts, my special lady of the evening? Are you rapturously satisfied after my stellar boudoir performance?” Mae: “Oh. Did we have sex? I didn’t realize. Perhaps I was distracted.” Jimmy: “Surely you are at least […]
Douglass: “Mae, my sugar bunny, whatever is troubling you so? Mae: “Oh, Douglass, the agony is so intense that I can barely speak!” Douglass: “Now, now. Stop writhing like a Pentecostal. Tell me what has happened. Are you hurt? Is there some blood loss that I need to […]
Mae: “Are you really doing this again?” Jimmy: “What? Dragging you out of the room by your hair? Yes.” Mae, sighing: “This is getting old, Jimmy.” Jimmy: “Not for me. I think it’s fun. I even put on a fancy outfit just to do it.” Mae: “Well, I […]
Prison Matron: “Now, Dottie, is this really a proper way for you to behave?” Dottie: “I don’t care! I’m sick to death of you bringing me the same lousy food on the same lousy tray ever y day.” Matron: “Well, Dottie, I didn’t actually make the lousy food. […]
Nurse Mae: “Doctor, do you see what I’m seeing in the Emergency Room?” Doctor John: “I’m not quite certain, but it appears to look like what you think it looks like.” Nurse Mae: “So this means…” Doctor John: “The casualties from Black Friday Shopping have begun to arrive.” […]
The two spinsters studied the movie still and tried to decide if they should go inside the movie palace and watch this latest release… Betty: “Look at how she can’t even light his cigarette. She would make a terrible wife. I hope he’s not planning to marry […]
Kent: “My darling, you seem troubled.” Mae: “Well, I suppose there’s something I should tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it.” Kent: “You know I love you eternally. There’s nothing you can say that will make me unhappy.” Mae: “It’s just that… well, you were away […]
It was the wedding of the decade, with the rich and famous for miles around flocking to view the nuptials. The reception afterwards was a smashing success, with the flashbulbs of the paparazzi lighting up the night and the gossip columnists rhapsodizing in the evening editions of all […]
Mae: “What do you mean you don’t know what to do?” Buck: “Your foot is stuck in the drain. Why did you call me? I sell ice cream. Did you get hungry while you were waiting for someone who can actually help you to get here?” Mae: “You’re […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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