Tag: Sarcasm

Past Imperfect – #533

Mike Todd: “Wow, they’ll run any kind of gossip on this news ticker in Times Square. Are you seeing this?” Elizabeth Taylor: “Of course I’m seeing it, dear. Just because I have violet eyes doesn’t mean I can’t see the same things other people see.” Mike: “You have […]

Past Imperfect – #532

In the original concept of child daycare facilities, designed by one Otto von Benchmark, there were a few regulations which did not quite gel. One of the first stipulations that bit the dust was the requirement that all potential enrollees in the facility had to be of a […]

Past Imperfect – #530

Marilyn Monroe: “Arthur, I’m not really understanding this bit in your play right here, with the witches shrieking.” Arthur Miller, off-camera due to clearance issues with his publicist: “Well, it’s an allegory about the Salem trials and McCarthyism and… why are you standing like that?” Marilyn: “I’m posing […]

Past Imperfect – #529

Myrna: “Although part of me, especially my hand, is desperately yearning for what you have to offer, another part of me is convinced that I should alert the proper authorities.” William: “What, you don’t want a bite of this sandwich? It’s quite exquisite. It has mayo smeared on […]

Past Imperfect – #528

Laurel: “It says here that we are now considered box office poison.” Hardy: “That can’t be right. We’ve made over 100 shorts together. Surely that means something.” Laurel: “Well, times are changing. Sometimes the skills you have to offer the world are no longer needed, and you have […]

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]

Past Imperfect – #526

Harmon, the first husband: “I know our relationship is rocky, and that you will one day leave me because I’m an insufferable sexist, but can I at least say you look stunningly beautiful in this moment.” Bette: “Why, Harmon Oscar, such a notion from you. I must say […]

Past Imperfect – #525

Director: “Greta, dear, it would be really swell if you could get off this couch and report to the set. Because making movies works best when the actors actually do that. Are you following me?” Greta: “Following you? Are you talking about SpaceLook? You know I don’t do […]

Past Imperfect – #524

Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]