Tag: Authors

Past Imperfect – #555

Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]

Past Imperfect – #548

Arrogant Detective: “Are you actually telling me that you can’t identify the person driving this car?” Frustrated Potential Witness Who Didn’t Really See Anything: “How on earth am I supposed to know that?” Detective: “Don’t trifle with me. The security camera at Beulah’s Emporium of Wanton Sex Toys […]

Past Imperfect – #541

Rita’s exuberance on learning that she had just won the lead role in “Gilda”, although completely understandable, was not entirely appreciated by the guests at her weekly Float and Guzzle pool party. After all, once you get chlorine in your beverage, things can go sour rather quickly…  

Past Imperfect – #538

It was at this precise moment when a young Ronald Reagan began confusing “starlets who will desperately do anything to catch the eye of a casting agent” with “everybody loves me and I should run for President!” Sadly, this disconnect with reality has since become the hallmark of […]

Past Imperfect – #513

The orphans at St. Buckworth’s Hostel for Cast-Aside Waifs knew they had a challenge ahead of them if they had any chance of retaining governmental funding during a Republican administration, so they did their best to appear charming and resourceful. Let’s listen in as they await the arrival […]

Past Imperfect – #511

Anna May: “I’m sorry, I was momentarily distracted by my own perkiness and I didn’t quite catch what you were saying. Could you repeat it, please?” Police Officer: “I said that you seem awfully chipper considering we just found the famous movie producer, Irving Hindenburg, floating in the […]

Past Imperfect – #510

Slenderina, left: “Oh, look! The Goodyear blimp is flying overhead and flashing a message, thanking us for representing a body image that most woman can never hope to achieve no matter how hard they try.” Low-Carb Barb: “Well, I suppose that’s sweet and all, but lately I’ve been […]

Past Imperfect – #509

Within minutes of the start of the advertising shoot, it became crystal clear that something was terribly awry. Let’s listen in as the models attempt to psychologically survive the madness of the wrong people making the wrong decisions at all the wrong times… Poutina, left: “We are never […]

Past Imperfect – #506

During a recent excavation at a long-abandoned country club in the township of Martha’s Future Vineyard, Massachusetts, just south of Cape Cod, a startling discovery was made. In this primitive example of early photography, circa 1778, it appears that the founding fathers of our country perhaps held back […]