Humphrey: “Say, what happened to your face there, doll? Has your man been wallopin’ you around? I can take care of him if you want me to. Just say the word.”
Ida: “Well, as much as I would like to belittle my husband for the wretched things he has done, I can’t really pin this on him. His crimes are fairly petty, mainly stupidity and aggressive flatulence. No, I did this to myself.”
Humphrey: “Aw, come on, doll. You don’t have to make excuses for your husband beating on you, like pretending you walked into a door or you got too rambunctious with your personal massager and the plug flew out of the wall and smacked you in the noggin.”
Ida: “I am telling you the truth. This isn’t a bruise, it’s a burn. I was doing a chemistry experiment and things got a bit out of control. I was too close to the action and… well, a small piece of plutonium made a break for freedom but it only got as far as my face.”
Humphrey: “Sorry, gal, but I think you’re just blowing hot air.”
Ida: “I’m not blowing anything, and certainly not you, although I hear that Lauren Bacall might be making you an offer in a few years. Really, I was testing isotope variances when you walked in. Your Neanderthal gait startled me and I quickly shoved my test tube in that lamp over there.”
Humphrey: “What kind of dame would be doing chemistry experiments?”
Ida: “The kind of dame that can sometimes win Nobel Prizes. Women can do anything. Even direct movies.”
Humphrey: “Like that will ever happen in Hollywood in our lifetimes. Now, quit runnin’ your mouth and let me take a look at where the massager dinged ya. It might leave a scar.”
Ida: “I strongly suggest you not get any closer to the impact site.”
Humphrey: “Why, you tender-headed?”
Ida: “No. I’m radioactive.”
Humphrey, sighing: “Making movies just ain’t what it used to be.”
Ida: “Tell me about it. Now, you go back over there and wait for Lauren to eventually put her lips together and blow, and I’m going to call my HMO and see what my deductible is for underestimating radical plutonium.”
Categories: Movies
Crusty Pie 
He’s lucky she didn’t knock him into ‘The Twilight Zone’.
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I don’t think it’s off the table just yet… 😉
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Ida was way ahead of her time, or she was channeling “kiss Me Deadly.” come on. Women scientists? really? I’ll wait for that to land, watch the ripples 😉
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Ida was involved with a lot of rippling, mmm hmm….
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Ripple was right in there with Boones Farm and cold pizza for breakfast.
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They were high on Sierra and she got dizzy while trying to make an ice-a-dope with a Bunsen burner. They were very radio active on The Screen Guild Theater (CBS).
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Well, you know what the say about radiation poisoning. The upside is that you won’t ever need a nightlight again…
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That’s looking on the bright side ! 😀
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