Note: This is a somewhat-older piece that is just now appearing on Crusty Pie, so please excuse the obvious dated references… Left to right… George: “Pray tell me, fellow Unbobble Heads, what am I looking at down there? Is that one of those orange-topped warthogs I read about […]
They showed up. They got their trophies. Discussion ensued. Lurlene, left, lovingly: “These cups are so pretty, just like me. Aren’t you excited that we won?” Raychelle, right, wretchedly: “It’s about as exciting as a bowel movement. We were both bound to have one today.” Lurlene, peevishly: “Don’t […]
Meredith knew she had put it off long enough. She had hemmed. She had hawed. She had worked on things that didn’t need working, piddled with things that didn’t need piddling, and dicked with things that didn’t need dicking. She had even scrubbed all the toilets in the […]
Teresa: “I gotta know right now. Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away, will you make your wife?” Dana: “I […]
Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]
Dinah, middle: “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I’m not wearing a bra right now. I could change the entire world with this freedom. Should I sing a song about it?” Big Ricky, far right: “Now, Dinah, I don’t need to hear about […]
Sometimes you have to dig deep in your drawers to find what you were looking for…
Carole, Actress: “Wait a minute, I’m sensing something.” Robert, Actor: “And I’m sensing that you’re straddling my crotch with malevolent intent. Not that I mind.” Carole: “No, it goes beyond our crude attempt to get past the censors with suggestive but benign foreplay. It seems that a writer […]
It wasn’t until this precise moment that Katharine realized she might have erred slightly in selecting an outfit that would entice her betrothed on their wedding night. It didn’t help matters that newly-minted hubby immediately dialed 911 even though the system hadn’t been invented yet. Still, the show […]
Life is often confusing, but one thing is abundantly clear: In order to win the Miss America contest in 1935, contestants did whatever it took to get the rural vote…
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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