Category: Random

Past Imperfect – #567

Teresa: “I gotta know right now. Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away, will you make your wife?” Dana: “I […]

Past Imperfect – #564

Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]

Past Imperfect – #563

Dinah, middle: “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I’m not wearing a bra right now. I could change the entire world with this freedom. Should I sing a song about it?” Big Ricky, far right: “Now, Dinah, I don’t need to hear about […]

Past Imperfect – #544

Carole, Actress: “Wait a minute, I’m sensing something.” Robert, Actor: “And I’m sensing that you’re straddling my crotch with malevolent intent. Not that I mind.” Carole: “No, it goes beyond our crude attempt to get past the censors with suggestive but benign foreplay. It seems that a writer […]

Past Imperfect – #536

It wasn’t until this precise moment that Katharine realized she might have erred slightly in selecting an outfit that would entice her betrothed on their wedding night. It didn’t help matters that newly-minted hubby immediately dialed 911 even though the system hadn’t been invented yet. Still, the show […]

Past Imperfect – #530

Marilyn Monroe: “Arthur, I’m not really understanding this bit in your play right here, with the witches shrieking.” Arthur Miller, off-camera due to clearance issues with his publicist: “Well, it’s an allegory about the Salem trials and McCarthyism and… why are you standing like that?” Marilyn: “I’m posing […]

Past Imperfect – #528

Laurel: “It says here that we are now considered box office poison.” Hardy: “That can’t be right. We’ve made over 100 shorts together. Surely that means something.” Laurel: “Well, times are changing. Sometimes the skills you have to offer the world are no longer needed, and you have […]

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]