Bernie: “Lolly, why did you get out of the car? Where are you going?” Lolly: “I’m fed up with it, Bernie. I can’t take it anymore.” Bernie: “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t just walk away. You don’t know what’s down that road.” Lolly: “I know you’re not down […]
This is what happens when artsy people overthink things whilst posing for Selfies… Poser on the Left: “Okay, I’m going to stand like this, and then you stand like you might really like me or you might think I’m a serial killer.” Poser on the Right: “Got it. […]
Cherub on the Left: “What the hell is she doing?” Cherub on the Right: “By the looks of it, orgasming.” Left: “From just a spritz? We should all be so lucky. I wonder what’s in the bottle?” Right: “Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t smell like her […]
Professor Eugene Oregonus is a member of the tenured faculty at The University for People Who Can Actually Afford to Go Here. As such, with that “tenured” angle, just like Supreme Court justices who are worthless but somehow got the promotion, he can say whatever he wants without […]
At St. Zena’s Academy for Women Who Like to Wear Matching Outfits and Don’t Bother to Do Anything Interesting with Their Hair, a hush fell over the room as the students received that day’s assignment: “Wherefore art thou, Waldo?”
At first glance, this photo appears to be documenting the moment when the Delta Airlines marketing team came up with that “We love to fly and it shows!” slogan back in the day, a phrase that subsequently and unintentionally caught on with a certain cannabis-favoring segment of the […]
Nadine: “Why are you handing this to me?” Postman Pete: “It’s addressed ‘To the Lady of the House’.” Nadine: “You’re assuming that this is my house. And that I’m a lady.” Pete: “You did sort of walk out the door just now.” Nadine: “That doesn’t prove anything. I […]
Bertram: “I really don’t care for this coffee table.” Beatrice: “Oh, really? You just don’t understand modern design, something you might have a better grasp of if you were weren’t constantly grasping a bottle of bourbon. That table is lovely. It was created by an artist in Paris […]
Photographer: “Inez, honey, could you put that down? Inez: “What? The book?” Photographer: “No, your…. why in the world are you even doing that?” Inez: “What? Reading?” Photographer, sighing: “Your leg, Inez. Are you sending a signal to the Coast Guard?” Inez: “No, dear. The AC is out […]
When Melba returned from the kitchen, she knew instantly that her guests had already sampled the rum cake…
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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