Tag: Film

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]

Past Imperfect – #526

Harmon, the first husband: “I know our relationship is rocky, and that you will one day leave me because I’m an insufferable sexist, but can I at least say you look stunningly beautiful in this moment.” Bette: “Why, Harmon Oscar, such a notion from you. I must say […]

Past Imperfect – #525

Director: “Greta, dear, it would be really swell if you could get off this couch and report to the set. Because making movies works best when the actors actually do that. Are you following me?” Greta: “Following you? Are you talking about SpaceLook? You know I don’t do […]

Past Imperfect – #524

Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]

Past Imperfect – #523

Greta, left: “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ll try to do better.” Henry, right: “Splendid. So let’s review what we’ve just learned.” Greta: “I will stop stealing vodka from your private stock and then trying to seek validation by sharing said stock with my impressionable friends.” Henry: “Good. And?” Greta: […]

Past Imperfect – #521

Douglas, left: “Why are both of you looking at me like you know something that I don’t?” Jean, middle: “I’m not looking at anybody. When you use as much peroxide on your hair as I do, you lose a little bit of muscle control.” James, right: “I might […]

Past Imperfect – #520

Cary: “Why are you walking in the door like that? Jean: “Let’s just say there was an incident and things didn’t work out well for me.” Cary: “But you look like you’re in pain? What happened?” Jean: “Well, apparently I made the mistake of trying to wear high […]

Past Imperfect – #519

Meanwhile, in one of those conservative states where people voted for Trump because they apparently relish alternative facts over progress, another wedding night ensues… Deanna, left: “Darling, I couldn’t help but notice that your father is in the room as we are about to make whoopee.” Robert, middle: […]

Past Imperfect – #518

Jimmy: “There’s something happening here.” Claudette: “There is? Is it my hairdo? I knew something didn’t feel right about this choice.” Jimmy: “What it is ain’t exactly clear.” Claudette: “Oh. Well, if it’s not me, you must be talking about the rather rude way you’re sitting, showing your […]