Tag: Greta Garbo

Past Imperfect – #525

Director: “Greta, dear, it would be really swell if you could get off this couch and report to the set. Because making movies works best when the actors actually do that. Are you following me?” Greta: “Following you? Are you talking about SpaceLook? You know I don’t do […]

Past Imperfect – #524

Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]

Past Imperfect – #523

Greta, left: “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ll try to do better.” Henry, right: “Splendid. So let’s review what we’ve just learned.” Greta: “I will stop stealing vodka from your private stock and then trying to seek validation by sharing said stock with my impressionable friends.” Henry: “Good. And?” Greta: […]

Past Imperfect – #402

Butler: “You rang, Lady Penelope?” Penny: “Yes, Arturo. I need you to ring up Greta Garbo and then hand me the phone.” Arturo: “May I inquire into the nature of this call? I’m sure her people will have questions before simply rousing her from a private slumber and […]

Past Imperfect – #379

Greta was feeling a bit blue, as she hadn’t seen her lover in days and she was beginning to suspect that their torrid relationship had run its course. If so, then Ramon’s sudden disinterest had come at a rather inopportune time, as he had been handling both her […]

Past Imperfect – #290

Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]

Past Imperfect – #288

Greta: “Oh, Robert, you must hold me now.” Robert: “Of course, my darling. Whatever is the matter? You look a bit tepid despite the wonderful lighting.” Greta: “It’s so awful. I don’t know where to begin.” Robert: “Are you speaking of those horrid tassels on the left side […]

Past Imperfect – #138

Greta: “Wait, are you telling me you want me to die in another movie?” Agent: “But you die so beautifully. It is artistry.” Greta: “So that’s what my fans want? Pretty death?” Agent: “Yes. It’s trending on Twitter.”