Past Imperfect – #523

Greta, left: “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ll try to do better.”

Henry, right: “Splendid. So let’s review what we’ve just learned.”

Greta: “I will stop stealing vodka from your private stock and then trying to seek validation by sharing said stock with my impressionable friends.”

Henry: “Good. And?”

Greta: “I will stop using variations of the Latin word for ‘wedge’ to describe my private school teachers.”

Henry: “Admirable. And when it comes to your mother?”

Greta: “I will stop calling her a fascist pig because she won’t buy me a diaphragm.”

Henry: “I’m so proud of you. You’ve grown so much since the beginning of this blog post. Still, you and I both know that your mother will continue to be a fascist if I don’t punish you in some way for your indiscretions. Therefore, I must banish you to your room and you are not allowed to make any non-essential travel from this dwelling until you mother gets distracted by something else.”

Greta: “But Daddy, I’m supposed to be on a ship tomorrow, one bound for America where I will soon be a major motion picture star who becomes famous despite not really wanting to be a famous motion picture star.”

Henry: “Oh? Perhaps I should be paying more attention to current events. Does this quest of yours involve an admirable income?”

Greta: “Yes, Daddy. I have a contract. And within two hours of arriving in Hollywood I’ll have made enough money to redecorate this wretchedly ugly parlor that is the real source of all of our family issues.”

Henry: “I see. Well, I suppose I could keep your fascist mother medicated for a day or two. Run free, my child. By the way, when you become enormously famous, will you be expecting Mother and I to join you in Hollywood?”

Greta: “No, Daddy. Despite my impending fame and fortune, I want to be let alone.”

Henry: “That sounds like a line that could easily be misquoted.”

Greta: “Trust me, it will be.”


13 replies »

  1. I like his coat. Also, there’s a bit of a vampire-like quality to him. He would have made a great one.
    Really like that coat.
    I read something recently that said Greta Garbo has become an icon for introverts everywhere. Which is nice, because if there’s one thing we lacked, it was an icon.
    That coat would be perfect in New York.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Must it always be about the couture, Ms. Hartwell? Let’s revisit the mantra we learned at our last meeting of The Society of Introverts Who Live in States Where It Gets Unreasonably Hot: “Lust not for the outer garments of those you secretly admire, for something woolen that way comes.” It doesn’t make any sense to me, either, but at least I took notes… 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Fortunately the Drumpf Golden Recorder was not turned on to capture this dialogue. There wold be an addition of huge hyperbole that would be very very big on alternative facts. Instead we have the a remarkable factual fact.

    Liked by 1 person

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