Helen: “Well, I think that was rather rude of you to say.” Ramon: “It wasn’t rude, my pet. It was fact. You shouldn’t be doing such a thing in here. This appears to be a fine restaurant, one where we all pay exorbitant prices just to make sure […]
Jeanne: “I can’t believe what is going on over there.” Michael: “And I can’t believe the someone was actually paid to make your hair look like that.” Jeanne: “Wait, what? Do you understand the button you just pushed?” Michael: “Um… maybe not. I didn’t realize that I had […]
Joy: “Humphrey, tell me the rumor isn’t true!” Humphrey: “I’m afraid it is. This is the smallest table to ever appear in a nightclub. I don’t know how it’s holding up my bottle of hooch. I better drink more before the table collapses.” Joy: “Oh, I’ve already emotionally […]
Boris, left: “Gentlemen, I have some tragic news to report.” Henry, middle: “Our plan to steal the body of Walt Whitman has failed?” Bela, right: “The Barbershop Quartet Selection Committee turned us down because we don’t have enough members?” Boris: “Oh, I wasn’t aware that we were still […]
Real Barbara: “I just don’t understand why I’m not getting the movie roles that I deserve.” Mirror Barbara: “Well, let me see if I can help you out with that. For starters, what’s up with that dress you’re wearing? It says all the wrong things at all the […]
John: “We should really do something about the inequality that is going on over there, but it’s obvious that my Waldo outfit is not very intimidating and we might fail in our heroic pursuits.” Ida: “It doesn’t matter. My severe eye makeup and world-domination hairdo will easily compensate […]
Boris: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down?” Ginger: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is a piñata that we got in Guadalajara when we were watching all […]
Carole: “Darling, how thoughtful of you. I’ve always wanted my own personal callous remover. You think of everything.” Darling: “Actually, I didn’t think of everything. I forgot to call you downstairs when it was time to open presents. Christmas was two weeks ago.” Carole: “Really? I hadn’t noticed. […]
Cary: “There we go. Don’t you feel much better now that I’ve dried your hair?” Rita: “Actually, yes. Your fingers are manly but gentle, and you certainly know how to soak up moisture that doesn’t belong to you. But I do have one question.” Cary: “Ask away, and […]
Bobby, far left: “Sometimes I get the feeling that you’re not even listening to me. Like right now. I’m trying to save our relationship and you’re looking everywhere but at me. How is that supposed to make me feel?” Sandra, near left: “I’m not looking at you because […]
Delusions of Grand Fir… Boris, left: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down? It’s mid-March, springtime. We should be planting things, not looking at dried-out shrubbery.” Ginger, right: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is […]
Pretension and Posturing… The Old Oak Cliff Conservation League holds an annual Tour of Homes in our little neck of the woods, an event that is quite popular, with thousands of people plunking down money to analyze and criticize what other people do with their money. The attending crowd is usually an interesting mix […]
On the other side of the wall… Note: The following is an alternate take on the action in the previous post. And yes, this one is twisted. Things happened when you couldn’t leave the house during That Covid Mess… Saffrogette, left: “And then you bounce the ball and you try to grab the jacks before […]
Random Randiness… Note: During the first few crazy months of the Corona Virus Mess, I ran a series of daily posts trying to make light of the matter, despite the actual seriousness of such. (Humor in the dark, so to speak.) This is one of those entries… Babs, left: “Darling, you know we can’t get […]
Note: The following is an excerpt from one of my books-in-progress, a sordid tale of the time when a mass contingent of my family stupidly decided to go on a Carnival Cruise, wherein we were expected to behave in wholesome manner. (This was never going to happen, the wholesomeness, but still.) All you really need […]
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