Tag: Vintage

Past Imperfect – #572

Barbara: “My goodness, Mr. Fonda, you seem to be clutching my hand with lusty intention. Was it something I said?” Henry: “Well, no. It’s not what you’re saying. It’s what you’re wearing.” Barbara: “Oh, this little number? It’s merely something I threw together at the last minute. The […]

Past Imperfect – #571

Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]

Past Imperfect – #570

It was at this precise moment that Clara realized her lover had been cheating on her. It was the same moment when Charles first noticed that his lover sported an unnatural pallor that spoke of midnight resurrections and a possible guest appearance in an Anne Rice novel. One […]

Past Imperfect – #569

Henry: “I yearn for you desperately.” Barbara: “How touching. But as you can see by the perfect curl artfully-arranged on my forehead, I’m not particularly fond of touching. Because it might jack with the curl and I spent far too much time in makeup for such a thing […]

Past Imperfect – #568

Whoopi: “Hello?” Voice: “Yes, could I speak to the lady of the house?” Whoopi: “We don’t have a lady of the house. We have a wretched, spoiled woman with no soul or sense of shame.” Voice: “Perfect! That’s just the type of person that interests me.” Wretched Woman, […]

Past Imperfect – #567

Teresa: “I gotta know right now. Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away, will you make your wife?” Dana: “I […]

Past Imperfect – #566

Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]

Past Imperfect – #565

Greta, the wife, left: “Is this what it’s come to, with this massive table representing the distance in our marriage?” Felix, the servant, fiddling with who knows what, center, whispering: “Girl, don’t poke the bear. You know he has unregulated testosterone issues.” Anders, husband, possible bear, right: “Whatever […]

Past Imperfect – #563

Dinah, middle: “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I’m not wearing a bra right now. I could change the entire world with this freedom. Should I sing a song about it?” Big Ricky, far right: “Now, Dinah, I don’t need to hear about […]

Past Imperfect – #562

Edwina: “Are you sure that we’re doing this right?” Bud: “Of course. I read all about it on the Internet. This is how you have safe sex.” Edwina: “But something seems a bit off. This is nothing like what happened in all those young adult novels I read […]