Past Imperfect – #563

Dinah, middle: “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I’m not wearing a bra right now. I could change the entire world with this freedom. Should I sing a song about it?”

Big Ricky, far right: “Now, Dinah, I don’t need to hear about your womanly concerns. This is America. It’s in our Constitution that men elected to Congress don’t have to pay any attention to whatever it is that you might have to say.”

Dinah: “Oh, blow it out your bongos, Ricky. Times are changing and you better get with the program or your nightclub might get shut down.”

Big Ricky: “Now, look here. There are children in the room and your refusal to be dominated is sending the wrong message to people who watch Fox News.”

Little Ricky, middle: “Daddy, I don’t mind if someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, strumming on the old banjo.”

Big Ricky: “That makes no sense, son.”

Little Ricky: “It makes sense if you bother to read ‘Crusty Pie’ on a regular basis. The writer is always throwing out obscure references.”

Big Ricky: “Crusty Pie? I don’t even know you anymore.”

Little Ricky II, far left: “Fake Daddy, does this mean that you are finally fed up with Bigger Little Ricky and I have a chance to replace him on the show? I’ve dreamed of this moment of freedom.”

Dinah: “Knock it off, you little urchin. I think we’ve already established that if anything is going to be free on this set, it’s my breasts.”

A young Marvin Hamlisch, seated at the piano in the back, working on a new tune out of boredom: “Mammaries. Like the corners of my mind…”

Narrator, unneeded until now: “This is madness. How am I supposed to work with this? Where’s my agent?”

Editor, never needed but always there: “I’m done. I can no longer work for someone who is clearly out of control.”

Brian smiles, hits submit. Fires editor. Sleeps peacefully.


16 replies »

  1. Now that marijuana is legal in Canada, I’m afraid that we’re going to see a lot more like this. 😆
    (P.S. – don’t say anything about the grass. We don’t want the riff-raff from Washington and Oregon leaking North across the border)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. She will see America in her big Chevrolet. It will have to be big to fit America, especially with all those crossing over into Florida on their babaloos.

    Liked by 1 person

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