Past Imperfect – #290

SR 1290

Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?”

Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?”

Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?”

Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit candle. Why is it not bathing me in a glow of angelic beauty?”

Mauritz: “I shall attend to that immediately, and fire the Candle-Maintenance Wench.”

Greta: “And this empty bottle of perfume? How am I to anoint myself with erotic aromas that will drive men wild? I am dissatisfied when suitors do not succumb to my wafting essence.”

Mauritz: “Duly noted. The Scent Wench will be dismissed as well, thrown into the street so that she may wallow in the ineptitude of her failures.”

Greta: “Good answers so far, Mauritz, and I applaud your willingness to destroy the lives of others on the slim chance that I may keep you employed for another day. But there is one final question.”

Mauritz: “I cannot begin to tell you how much I relish the next query.”

Greta: “What the hell happened to my hair?”


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