Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #573

In an alternate reality, one much closer to the truth than he will ever admit, Donald Trump prepares for his next press conference.

In the background, nearly hidden behind whatever that odd pole-thing is supposed to be, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, current White House Press Secretary, gnashes her teeth. “This isn’t fair. I’m the one who has dutifully lied repeatedly about his malfeasance and I’ve been bitchy to all the people who are trying to trip me up with the truth. Why is he kicking me out of the spotlight?”

Seated next to Lying Sarah and her non-qualification to speak truthfully about anything, we have Sean Spicer, former White House Press Secretary and acknowledged expert on running to hide in the bushes when his own lies have been exposed: “Oh, honey, you can’t expect unwavering support from the Trump Administration. The very second you get out of synch with Donald’s psychotic, constantly-changing policy directives your passport in Trump-Land is immediately revoked.”

Sarah: “But if he replaces me, where will I go? What will I do? The only skill I have is ass-kissing with the velocity of a woodpecker.”

Sean: “You can always be a spokesmodel for Fox News. That’s where all the failed Republicans go when the NRA stops funding them.”

Assistant Director, also known as Jared Kushner: “Quiet on the set! The Donald is about to speak. And turn off your cell phones, because we don’t want any record of what he might say in case it complicates any of the 417 lawsuits against his inability to be a decent human being.”

Donaldine, feeling very pretty, as he always does: “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Bannon.”

Steve Bannon, looking like a drunken bum as he always does: “I’m sure you are, because I groomed you that way. Now, look into my eyes and let me mesmerize you with my latest thoughts on how you can further destroy decency in America.”

Innocent bystander off to the left, not included in the group photo due to copyright issues: “Is this really happening? Is this how American politics works?”

Bernie Sanders, not included in the photo because some Democrats are afraid of progress: “Well, yeah, ever since the Supreme Court made that insipid Citizens United ruling.”

Bystander: “I don’t really understand what that means.”

Bernie: “And therein lies the problem.”

Dorothy, also not included, which is a theme of the Trump Administration, clicking her heels together three times: “I just want to go home again.”

Toto, her little dog, too: “This post is filled with so many bizarre references that I don’t know whether to fish or cut bait.”

Brian, the writer: “Welcome to my world.”

 

7 replies »

  1. I seem to have inadvertently wandered onto a closed set. I’m Not Worthy! I’m Not Worthy! And neither are any of these people. Now that I’ve interrupted an important historical moment, I’ll just quietly withdraw. 😳

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are free to withdraw, because the cameras are still rolling and we know the risk of video evidence. But stop by the Security Desk on your way out, hand over all recording devices, and sign the non-disclosure agreement…

      Like

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