Ed, Professional Hoofer from New Jersey: “And for the last bit of the dance finale, do this little side kick and shake your moneymaker like it’s on fire.”
Starlet #1, far left: “You mean our moneymakers. Plural.”
Ed: “No, I mean singular. The good ole thrust and grind with your tallywacker.”
Starlet #2: “But we don’t have that kind of…financial resource. In case you hadn’t noticed.”
Ed: “I don’t understand. Why would Chippendales hire dancers without forklifts?”
Starlet #3: “I don’t mean to be rude, but are you drunk?”
Ed: “Of course I am. My career has tanked and the only gig I can get is doing choreography for steroid-soaked Chippendales Neanderthals. Who wouldn’t drink in that situation?”
Starlet #4: “Why do you keep saying Chippendales? We don’t have that word in our country. This is the Bolshoi Ballet.”
Ed: “It is? How the hell did I get in Russia? I knew something wasn’t right when I transferred trains in Berlin. But the drinks kept coming, so I just followed the bouncing shot glass until we got to the last station. That’s my career in a nutshell.”
Starlet #1: “So what do we do now?”
Ed: “If this really is Russia, you’d best get your ass out there and vote for Putin. Because he don’t play.”
Starlet #2: “I’m not afraid of a beastly man with no morals whatsoever.”
Ed: “Oh, you’d be surprised how often men like that manage to get power.”
Starlet #3: “Just like in your own country?”
Ed: “Fair enough. Now, where can I get a drink since the trains aren’t running at this hour?”
Starlet #4: “That depends. Are you straight, white and rich?”
Ed: “I can only attest to one of those things.”
Starlet #1: “Then you’re screwed. In both of our countries.”
Categories: Poor Choices
Mãi mới có
LikeLike
I think you’d agree. Bring on the Chippendales.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I certainly wouldn’t mind if they were brought, not at all…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Poor Ed, he really is screwed. But the real shame is how the Chippendales will never learn those moves.
LikeLiked by 3 people
It’s quite tragic, really. Yet another example of what happens when you cut Arts Education funding…
LikeLiked by 2 people
My legs are more beautiful than yours… 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Isn’t that how it always goes? 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I don’t think I have heard the term “Shake your money maker” before, other than as the title of an old Fleetwood Mac song. When I say old I mean the original Fleetwood Mac, about 1970.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, I’m from Oklahoma. There’s really not much else to do other than shake your money make and hope that you someday escape that state. And yes, I’m aware of the old-school Fleetwood, as one of my stepmoms owned every album from said period, and we had no choice but to review the musical selections, quite often… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Liked & Shared. Thank you.
_
LikeLiked by 1 person