Man with Stupid Hat: “Look, you need to give me the information or I will be forced to do unsavory things with this bullwhip.”
Pola: “I have already told you that I will never reveal the secrets that I’m pretending that I don’t have. I am prepared to be tortured endlessly, as long as the lighting is good and the camera zooms in lovingly during the important bits.”
Stupid: “Does this really need to be such an ordeal? I’m in a union, and my shift is about to end. If you don’t tell me where your gang is hiding out in the next twenty minutes, the sadist who works nights will be here and you’ll have to start this drama all over. Is it really worth it?”
Pola: “My lips are sealed and accented with a Max Factor lip gloss that is waterproof. I will go to my grave before I ever disclose the location of the people that I know nothing about, even though I’ve had torrid but ultimately unsatisfactory relationships with most of them.”
Stupid: “Then you leave me no choice. I must resort to the ultimate torture, the worst thing that can ever happen to a silent-movie actress.”
Pola, trembling: “Surely you don’t mean…”
Stupid: “Yes, exactly that. I am going to jack with your hair so your signature curls are no longer in place, and your fans can no longer instantly recognize you.”
Pola: “I will tell you everything. Get a notepad.”
Categories: Unexpected Developments
Crusty Pie 