Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #393

SR 1393

Ruby: “Do you seriously want me to wear this?”

Director: “Of course I do. You are a woman on the prowl.”

Ruby: “With a tail? Why would I have a tail? How many women do you know that have tails? Because I don’t know any.”

Director: “It’s symbolism, Ruby. It’s showing your animal nature.”

Ruby: “Let me rephrase the question. How many women do you know, period? Because I don’t think you get out much.”

Director: “You’re making this far more complicated than it needs to be. Just prance around and stalk your victim.”

Ruby: “Victim? I’m supposed to be meeting my boss for cocktails in this scene. What does victim have to do with it?”

Director: “Well, you’re a woman, and we all know that women resort to nefarious schemes to get their way.”

Ruby, walking off the set: “Okay, I’m done with this mess. I’m taking a break until somebody pulls their head out.”

Brief pause.

17 seconds later, Ruby is back: “Why is there a litter box in my dressing room?”

Producer, rushing in from somewhere else that was unimportant until we needed him for the story: “Ruby, let’s calm down. We can’t offend the director.”

Ruby: “Why not? He’s an ass.”

Producer: “He’s an ass that is about to be appointed to the Supreme Court.”

Ruby: “Are you kidding? He hates women. How can such a thing happen?”

Producer: “This is America. Stupid people get elected because other stupid people didn’t bother to vote and then stupid people end up on the Supreme Court. Now, do your best to make nice with Clarence Thomas and let’s get on with this shoot.”


16 replies »

    • Ugh. The sexy nurse and French maid outfits are so annoying. If you show up to a Halloween party of mine dressed in one of those messes, it doesn’t matter how much I love you, I am slamming the door in your face and you will not get one of the pumpkin spice-scented candles I am handing out to the other guests. Unless you brought a really good bottle of top-shelf tequila, smooth as silk. Then I might leave the door open a crack so you can slip in on your own and I can claim no responsibility for your admittance or your poor choice…. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

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