Past Imperfect – #494

George: “I’m so happy that we’re starting our new life together. Someday, we’ll make this country great again.” Heather: “Of course we will. We’re both white.” George: “Wait, what? I didn’t take you to be a racist.” Heather: “You took me because I’m easy. One gin and tonic […]

Past Imperfect – #493

William: “Darling, could you explain to me why you’re doing what you’re doing?” Jean: “We’ve already discussed this, poodle. I’m practicing to be a brain surgeon.” William: “Why do I get the feeling that this lovely procedure is not something you’ve ever read in a textbook?” Jean: “Textbook? […]

Past Imperfect – #492

Errol, far left: “I have no idea what’s going on right now. This might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking since last Tuesday. It’s entirely possible that I owe somebody somewhere a lot of money for a stunning bar tab, but that’s the […]

Past Imperfect – #491

Helen: “Well, I think that was rather rude of you to say.” Ramon: “It wasn’t rude, my pet. It was fact. You shouldn’t be doing such a thing in here. This appears to be a fine restaurant, one where we all pay exorbitant prices just to make sure […]

Past Imperfect – #490

Jeanne: “I can’t believe what is going on over there.” Michael: “And I can’t believe the someone was actually paid to make your hair look like that.” Jeanne: “Wait, what? Do you understand the button you just pushed?” Michael: “Um… maybe not. I didn’t realize that I had […]

Past Imperfect – #489

Joy: “Humphrey, tell me the rumor isn’t true!” Humphrey: “I’m afraid it is. This is the smallest table to ever appear in a nightclub. I don’t know how it’s holding up my bottle of hooch. I better drink more before the table collapses.” Joy: “Oh, I’ve already emotionally […]

Past Imperfect – #488

Boris, left: “Gentlemen, I have some tragic news to report.” Henry, middle: “Our plan to steal the body of Walt Whitman has failed?” Bela, right: “The Barbershop Quartet Selection Committee turned us down because we don’t have enough members?” Boris: “Oh, I wasn’t aware that we were still […]

Past Imperfect – #487

Real Barbara: “I just don’t understand why I’m not getting the movie roles that I deserve.” Mirror Barbara: “Well, let me see if I can help you out with that. For starters, what’s up with that dress you’re wearing? It says all the wrong things at all the […]

Past Imperfect – #486

John: “We should really do something about the inequality that is going on over there, but it’s obvious that my Waldo outfit is not very intimidating and we might fail in our heroic pursuits.” Ida: “It doesn’t matter. My severe eye makeup and world-domination hairdo will easily compensate […]

Past Imperfect – #485

Boris: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down?” Ginger: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is a piñata that we got in Guadalajara when we were watching all […]