Past Imperfect – #503

Mary, left: “I’m so excited about getting to be in a Mack Sennett picture!” Marie, right: “Oh, is that what we’re doing? I thought I was waiting in line to get past the velvet rope at a Steampunk-Goth nightclub.” Mary: “That means nothing to me. But I will […]

Past Imperfect – #501

Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there […]

Past Imperfect – #500

William: “It says here in the paper that we’ve reached a significant milestone. I suppose we should celebrate. And by celebrate, I mean drink alcohol and pretend to be happier than we really are.” Myrna: “I’m perplexed. And by perplexed, I mean that I’m immediately suspicious of you […]

Past Imperfect – #498

Gary: “Is that someone at the door? Are you expecting anyone?” Ann: “Of course not. I have no idea who it is. And I didn’t sleep with the vacuum cleaner salesman.” Gary: “That seems like a lot of information to share when a simple ‘no’ would have been […]

Past Imperfect – #497

Judy: “I’m so excited that we’re finally at our senior prom!” Mickey: “Me too! There are so many pretty girls here I could spit.” Judy: “Wait. What does that mean? I’m your date, and you shouldn’t be noticing any pretty girls except me.” Mickey: “Oh. Didn’t I tell […]

Past Imperfect – #496

William: “Did you hear that sound?” Jean: “Indeed, I did. It seems to be coming from the White House over there.” William: “Yes, an implosion of sorts. Pity that it’s come to this.” Jean: “But I thought you wanted him to fail.” William: “No. Despite the Right Wing […]

Past Imperfect – #495

Jeanne: “Hello, Tree. I’m here once again, sharing my thoughts, feeling a little blue because it’s Valentine’s Day and I don’t have anyone special in my life right now. I won’t be getting any flowers or candy, even though all the other gals in the office will be […]

Past Imperfect – #494

George: “I’m so happy that we’re starting our new life together. Someday, we’ll make this country great again.” Heather: “Of course we will. We’re both white.” George: “Wait, what? I didn’t take you to be a racist.” Heather: “You took me because I’m easy. One gin and tonic […]