Past Imperfect – #524

Awkwardly-Clingy ticket-taker at the Toulouse-Lautrec Metro Station in Paris: “Madamoiselle, I don’t know why you felt compelled to leap over the turnstile whilst bellowing something in Swedish, but I can’t have you running amok in the bowels of this city without acknowledging fair trade agreements. It’s anarchy!” PETA-defying […]

Past Imperfect – #523

Greta, left: “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’ll try to do better.” Henry, right: “Splendid. So let’s review what we’ve just learned.” Greta: “I will stop stealing vodka from your private stock and then trying to seek validation by sharing said stock with my impressionable friends.” Henry: “Good. And?” Greta: […]

Past Imperfect – #521

Douglas, left: “Why are both of you looking at me like you know something that I don’t?” Jean, middle: “I’m not looking at anybody. When you use as much peroxide on your hair as I do, you lose a little bit of muscle control.” James, right: “I might […]

Past Imperfect – #520

Cary: “Why are you walking in the door like that? Jean: “Let’s just say there was an incident and things didn’t work out well for me.” Cary: “But you look like you’re in pain? What happened?” Jean: “Well, apparently I made the mistake of trying to wear high […]

Past Imperfect – #519

Meanwhile, in one of those conservative states where people voted for Trump because they apparently relish alternative facts over progress, another wedding night ensues… Deanna, left: “Darling, I couldn’t help but notice that your father is in the room as we are about to make whoopee.” Robert, middle: […]

Past Imperfect – #518

Jimmy: “There’s something happening here.” Claudette: “There is? Is it my hairdo? I knew something didn’t feel right about this choice.” Jimmy: “What it is ain’t exactly clear.” Claudette: “Oh. Well, if it’s not me, you must be talking about the rather rude way you’re sitting, showing your […]

Past Imperfect – #517

Humphrey: “Say, what happened to your face there, doll? Has your man been wallopin’ you around? I can take care of him if you want me to. Just say the word.” Ida: “Well, as much as I would like to belittle my husband for the wretched things he […]

Past Imperfect – #516

Henry: “Are you sure that we should be doing this right now? What about the other guests at the party?” Barbara: “Don’t be such a fuss. Everyone is having cocktails on the lanai. They’ll be out there for hours, guzzling gin and trying to impress each other with […]

Past Imperfect – #515

Henry: “I told you that I don’t want to talk about it.” Anais: “But Henry, we are both progressive writers who have challenged the world to let us speak freely and openly, without hesitation, about our basic carnality and the ways in which we pursue and express it. […]