Past Imperfect – #535

Maria: “I just have one prayer, oh Mighty Isis. Could you please send me a publicist who knows how to focus a camera? Okay, maybe two prayers. It would be nice if the costume designer on this gig didn’t feel compelled to disguise the fact that I have […]

Past Imperfect – #534

Myrna, left: “I haven’t the faintest idea what she’s talking about.” William, not so much left: “Nor do I. Perhaps she’s discussing stock options, with that bit about alternative arrangements.” Bartender, background: “I could clear up the confusion in two seconds, but you people haven’t won any awards […]

Past Imperfect – #533

Mike Todd: “Wow, they’ll run any kind of gossip on this news ticker in Times Square. Are you seeing this?” Elizabeth Taylor: “Of course I’m seeing it, dear. Just because I have violet eyes doesn’t mean I can’t see the same things other people see.” Mike: “You have […]

Past Imperfect – #532

In the original concept of child daycare facilities, designed by one Otto von Benchmark, there were a few regulations which did not quite gel. One of the first stipulations that bit the dust was the requirement that all potential enrollees in the facility had to be of a […]

Past Imperfect – #530

Marilyn Monroe: “Arthur, I’m not really understanding this bit in your play right here, with the witches shrieking.” Arthur Miller, off-camera due to clearance issues with his publicist: “Well, it’s an allegory about the Salem trials and McCarthyism and… why are you standing like that?” Marilyn: “I’m posing […]

Past Imperfect – #529

Myrna: “Although part of me, especially my hand, is desperately yearning for what you have to offer, another part of me is convinced that I should alert the proper authorities.” William: “What, you don’t want a bite of this sandwich? It’s quite exquisite. It has mayo smeared on […]

Past Imperfect – #528

Laurel: “It says here that we are now considered box office poison.” Hardy: “That can’t be right. We’ve made over 100 shorts together. Surely that means something.” Laurel: “Well, times are changing. Sometimes the skills you have to offer the world are no longer needed, and you have […]

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]

Past Imperfect – #526

Harmon, the first husband: “I know our relationship is rocky, and that you will one day leave me because I’m an insufferable sexist, but can I at least say you look stunningly beautiful in this moment.” Bette: “Why, Harmon Oscar, such a notion from you. I must say […]