Past Imperfect – #564

Larry: “What fresh hell is this?” Jennie: “It appears that an army of photographers is aware of the fact that we were having a meeting with a marriage counselor. I wonder how that might have happened, He Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut.” Larry: “I assure you I […]

Past Imperfect – #563

Dinah, middle: “I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that I’m not wearing a bra right now. I could change the entire world with this freedom. Should I sing a song about it?” Big Ricky, far right: “Now, Dinah, I don’t need to hear about […]

Past Imperfect – #562

Edwina: “Are you sure that we’re doing this right?” Bud: “Of course. I read all about it on the Internet. This is how you have safe sex.” Edwina: “But something seems a bit off. This is nothing like what happened in all those young adult novels I read […]

Past Imperfect – #561

Humphrey: “Is it really that hard for you to at least look at me when I’m talking to you?” Lauren: “Oh, don’t be such a stick, Bogie. I’m sure that whatever you’re babbling about has some degree of merit, but right now I’m watching the election returns in […]

Past Imperfect – #560

Ricardo: “I sense that you have something to say.” Carole: “I always have something to say. But there are rare occasions when I have enough decorum about me to realize that I shouldn’t say something. This is why I’m not looking at you, so you won’t ask me […]

Past Imperfect – #559

Fred, left: “I’m sorry to intrude, but I just found these undergarments in the hallway, and I thought I might inquire as to whether or not you might wish to claim ownership.” Melvyn, center: “Good God, man. Why so many words? Couldn’t you have just asked ‘are these […]

Past Imperfect – #558

Carole: “Don’t you find this to be a little bit… insipid?” Carole’s Agent: “Of course not. Don’t all women want to be dainty and clean? This ad is doing a public service, really.” Carole: “Oh, please. Like women don’t know how to sluice the chute without the help […]

Past Imperfect – #555

Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]