Category: Delusional People

Past Imperfect – #349

Anne: “Don’t you just love my new tattoo supporting our men in the military? Isn’t it just dreamy?” Helen: “I’ve got one, too! Nothing says eternal love like ink on skin.” Evelyn: “Wait, I think I missed a memo. Who said anything about tattoos? I thought we were […]

Past Imperfect – #333

Mae: “Are you really doing this again?” Jimmy: “What? Dragging you out of the room by your hair? Yes.” Mae, sighing: “This is getting old, Jimmy.” Jimmy: “Not for me. I think it’s fun. I even put on a fancy outfit just to do it.” Mae: “Well, I […]

Past Imperfect – #332

Prison Matron: “Now, Dottie, is this really a proper way for you to behave?” Dottie: “I don’t care! I’m sick to death of you bringing me the same lousy food on the same lousy tray ever y day.” Matron: “Well, Dottie, I didn’t actually make the lousy food. […]

Past Imperfect – #324

Tour Guide: “And over here, boys and girls, we have the Charles F. Nelson house.” Little Billy: “Who cares.” Little Andy: “My juice box is empty.” Little Sally: “I gotta pee.” Tour Guide: “It’s one of the most famous houses in Olalla, Washington.” Little Billy: “Why? Did somebody […]

Past Imperfect – #318

Marjorie: “It says right here in your contract that no scenes will be filmed unless your face is properly lit.” Joan: “And why would you have an issue with that? Seems fair to me, since you’re just a supporting player and I’m the star.” Marjorie: “You are not […]

Past Imperfect – #311

The prosecuting attorney dramatically flourished Exhibit A: “As you can see by this photo, drug usage was rampant at the Beverly Hills Tennis Club in 1932!” Defense Attorney: “And what, other than your well-known alcoholism, led you to this questionable conclusion?” Prosecution: “First of all, we have Gilbert […]

Past Imperfect – #305

Buddy: “How about this pose? Does it make me look dashing?” Photographer: “If by ‘dashing’ you mean spoiled brat showing off his toys then, yes, you hit the mark.” Buddy: “Hey, now. You’re talking to a movie star. I was in the flick that won the first Academy […]

Past Imperfect – #304

Buster: “Why are you looking at me like that?” Marceline: “Don’t be simple. Is there something you need to tell me?” Buster: “I can’t imagine what. I share everything with you, my love.” Marceline: “Not everything. I found your stash of pornography involving carnal mimes.” Buster: “Oh. Well, […]

Past Imperfect – #299

As Rachel Maddow walked into the room, it became immediately clear that one of the urchin party guests had done something that they shouldn’t have. Based on the social behavior of those at the table, Rachel instantly realized that little Mary Fallin was to blame. Rachel: “Mary, is […]