Unexpected Developments

Past Imperfect – #560

Ricardo: “I sense that you have something to say.”

Carole: “I always have something to say. But there are rare occasions when I have enough decorum about me to realize that I shouldn’t say something. This is why I’m not looking at you, so you won’t ask me to say anything. My subversive efforts have proven inadequate.”

Ricardo: “But why would you not feel free to discuss things with me? After all, we’ve slept together. One would think we could talk about anything at this point.”

Carole: “Interesting that you should mention ‘slept together’ after I just mentioned ‘proven inadequate’. Do you really want to push this issue?”

Ricardo: “But I thought you enjoyed it. I seem to remember you having an explosive orgasm.”

Carole: “Are you kidding? That wasn’t an orgasm. That was me trying to stifle my laughter. Where did you learn about lovemaking? In a petting zoo?”

Ricardo: “I’m feeling a bit emasculated at the moment.”

Carole: “And I felt it last night.”

 

14 replies »

  1. This dialogue flows very well, Brian. Very literary. There is no greater way for a woman to deflate a man’s ego than to tell him he can’t perform in the sack!

    One minor suggestion–as this is a short play (or screenplay), you could remove the quotation marks around the dialogue. Have you ever thought of trying to get a short film made on one of your past imperfect posts?
    https://ptfaculty.gordonstate.edu/lking/CPF_play_formatting2.pdf

    Liked by 1 person

    • Actually, I have considered removing the quote marks in the bits that are dialogue-only, but many of the Past Imperfects have extensive narrative as well, and the quotation marks are obviously more critical in those pieces. I thought it best to keep the style the same throughout the series so we have a least a minimalist consistency.

      I haven’t considered making short films, but I have pondered stop-motion videos using Barbie dolls and the like. I even went so far as to buy a big bag of dolls, but that’s as far as I got and the dolls are now gathering dust in a hall closet…

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, consistency of formatting on website is important. The reason I would format them differently is you never know if someone in the film industry (or theater industry) is visiting your site. Following the standard conventions of the genre is important to a good first impression. btw; I think your Past Imperfects are a very cool idea. Looking at a photo and imagining a script based on that is a great way to unlock creativity! Keep it up.

        Liked by 1 person

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