Questionable Developments

Past Imperfect – #558

Carole: “Don’t you find this to be a little bit… insipid?”

Carole’s Agent: “Of course not. Don’t all women want to be dainty and clean? This ad is doing a public service, really.”

Carole: “Oh, please. Like women don’t know how to sluice the chute without the help of over-priced beauty bars. I find all of this to be entirely offensive.”

Agent: “Perhaps this will help. The word on the street is that you might get a nomination for your latest movie, Nurse Dixie and the Swarthy but Charismatic Veterinarian. Wouldn’t it be swell if potential female voters in the Academy could see your image on the wrapper as they go about their sluicing?”

Carole: “That means nothing to me. I want to be appreciated for my art without artifice.”

Agent: “Well, let me approach it from this angle. If you don’t agree to this financial opportunity to tramp yourself for commerce, you’ll be forced to sell the house in Maui. Your last two pictures hit the crapper with a thud that nearly knocked the moon out of alignment. You have a negative income stream.”

Carole: “Oh. Well, that’s an entirely different matter. Where do I sign?”

 

20 replies »

  1. “They knew what they wanted” – Lux toilet soap and an off shore tax shelter.
    Toilet soap will keep that porcelain bowl exquisitely fresh, sweet. Even Comet Cleanser won’t do that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Daintiness ? Oh my holy freakin’ goodness. BWAHAHAHHAHHA…. even my mother, born before 1930, didn’t say ‘dainty’ when she was referring to ridding herself of any possible offensive fishy odor, be it from unscheduled frolicing if Pop was in the mood or from making tuna noodle casserole… Dainty. *snicker*…now I’ve got a new word to spread about for the edification of the coming generations…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the ad! Brian, have you read The Importance of Being Ernest by Oscar Wilde? You have a similar writing style.

    Great line: “If you don’t agree to this financial opportunity to tramp yourself for commerce, you’ll be forced to sell the house in Maui.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Whoops, I somehow missed this comment during the original posting. (I have something of an issue with attention to detail, it’s an Oklahoma thing.) Thank you for the comparison, although I feel a bit unworthy. (Also an Oklahoma thing.) As for the house-selling in Maui, I only wish I could run up against such a predicament…

      Like

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