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All of these photos were found on the Internet, and I claim no ownership whatsoever. If you own the rights to one of these photos and are not pleased with my creative commentary, just let me know and we'll settle things with a discreet click of the "delete" button.
Slenderina, left: “Oh, look! The Goodyear blimp is flying overhead and flashing a message, thanking us for representing a body image that most woman can never hope to achieve no matter how hard they try.” Low-Carb Barb: “Well, I suppose that’s sweet and all, but lately I’ve been wondering if we’re doing the right thing.” […]
Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” Lucy: “What do you mean, don’t get […]
1. Some like it hot. These folks reach in, turn the hot-water tap to ultra-gusher, completely ignore the cold-water tap, and then leave the settings like this for the entire three-hour tour. Now, I generally like to wash away my sins as well as anyone, but I really don’t need to see my flesh […]
Cary: “There we go. Don’t you feel much better now that I’ve dried your hair?” Rita: “Actually, yes. Your fingers are manly but gentle, and you certainly know how to soak up moisture that doesn’t belong to you. But I do have one question.” Cary: “Ask away, and then we’ll get you set up for […]
Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there many years ago. I’ll not have you […]
We start out with brief shots of a fancy statue, lead singer Darren, some woman hopping off a train and running away like she’s done something naughty, and an impatient man checking his watch while looking darkly handsome. Then we’re back to Darren walking down a street and bursting into song, because that’s something that […]
We start out with a close-up of a billiards ball falling into a side pocket, which could mean absolutely anything, so this is already a tricky video. The camera pans up and then slowly zooms over the pool table so we can see one of The Cars sitting in the distance. We appear to be […]
We start out with lead singer Rob screwing around with a model airplane, using one hand to make it fly over and around the coffee table. (The other hand appears to be busy doing something else, but we won’t really go there.) Then we get a close-up of Rob and that haircut I never understood […]
Okay, we start off in some penthouse living room where people are sitting around and watching- Whoops, now we’re not there anymore. Suddenly, we’re in some type of aircraft and the pilot is either drunk or just very confused as we zip dangerously close to tall buildings in a large city. Then we start seeing […]
Preliminary Note: Just before watching this for the first time, I noticed a YouTube comment from somebody claiming “the fish eating the boat is the best part!”. What the hell? What am I getting into with this one? We start out with the camera focused on an old phonograph, with somebody getting ready to […]